Resident Advisor
by hammondgirl
Summary: Bella works as a Resident Advisor at Seattle U. She meets Edward Cullen during a Halloween party & learns that he lives on her floor. She finds herself falling in love with him throughout the semester, but what could he possibly see in her? BxE, AH
1. Ch 1: Halloween Hell

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**A/N: So I posted a ridiculously long version of this on the SmutVent calendar that the BritishBitches invited me to participate in. I am now breaking it down into chapters and adding to it, so please stick with me and don't fret about rereading it. There's gonna be some explanation, elaboration, and a bit of Edward's point of view thrown in, so enjoy!**

**Chapter One: Halloween Hell**

Why is it that I have to dress up for this costume party again? Oh yeah – It's my job. Wait, why do I have this job again? I mean college freshmen are annoying, so why is it I've agreed to be a resident advisor in this dorm, which is the one full of them? Well, full of freshmen and the occasional college employee that was roped into staying here to help – or to take pity on us lowly RA's.

Why oh why do I have this job? Oh yeah – it pays for my room & board. Dang it. I'm supposed to do something substantial with my life now.

I have done one thing right this semester – I've actually chosen a major. I couldn't very well continue on a course of general education no matter how much I'd like to just stay a student forever. I guess becoming a junior at the University of Seattle is one of those defining moments where you're supposed to learn the importance of independence.

Or it's someone's sick idea of a joke. Living in a dorm isn't exactly great. I mean, I've gotten past that stage of drinking, partying, and the subsequent puking. I am twenty-two years old for Pete's sake – not eighteen.

Now I have to suck it up and pay for the bills. Being an RA was pretty much my only option. I couldn't afford room and board _and_ pay for my ever increasing tuition with my old job. Heck, I couldn't pay one or the other with my old job. But with this, room and board was covered, three quarters of my tuition was waved, and the other quarter of it was paid for by my salary. The only downside is that I actually have to advise the residents of Weston Hall, my dormitory. Ugh.

My job is kind of easy, I suppose. I mean, I'm only expected to make a few speeches at the beginning and end of each semester to go over dorm rules and procedures and such, and to be available to the female residents of the fifth floor. I had fourteen freshmen and two sophomore girls who had applied late to a few of the other dorms and ended up stuck in Weston. No biggie, right?

Well, I thought so too once. I had forgotten just how hyper freshmen were. And I had fourteen of them. They _did_ party and they thought it was funny to knock on everyone's doors at four am on Saturday morning. Thank goodness pledge and rush week of the University fraternities and sororities were over within the first two and a half weeks of the semester, or else I think I would have killed someone. One drunken girl I can handle. Four is a different story that I never wish to relive.

Like I said though, the drunken episodes had died down considerably. But today was the last day of midterms. And it was Halloween. And it was Friday. I should have not been surprised by the knock on my door this afternoon once I was back in my room, since I knew something was bound to be strange on this day.

"Hey, Bella," I heard after a light knock.

"Yeah, come on in," I replied. I looked up to find Angela Weber, one of the sophomores on my floor, lingering in the open doorway. "Oh, hey Angela. What can I do for you?"

"Do you mind if I ask you a dumb question? I kind of can't ask my roommate for advice and I don't really know anyone else here in Seattle, and you said your door was always open at the beginning of the semester and everything."

She was rambling. Great. "Umm, yeah sure Angela – come on in."

I swiveled around in my computer chair and motioned for her to take a seat on the edge of my bed. She walked over slowly and wrung her hands in her lap after she sat down.

"So, what is it I can help you with?" God – please don't be anything weird. I'm not really a people person, but my job says I have to be. I'm not exactly what you would call anti-social or anything, but I only really have one friend here in Seattle – Alice.

"So, umm…" Angela began.

"Its okay, Angela," I said, calming her. Wow, maybe I have some people skills after all.

"Yeah, I totally have a crush on this upper classman that lives here in the dorm and he doesn't give me the time of day," she blurted out.

I did not see that one coming. My shocked face must have read like an open book, because Angela closed her eyes. I took a few breaths and realized she was waiting for me to respond.

"Alright, so you have a little crush," I started. God, I sounded like my father Charlie. How strangely parent like of me.

She opened her eyes and started again. "Yeah, well, I talked to my roommate Lauren once about guys and that was not really a good idea. She went out with that baseball player Mike Newton a few weeks ago, so I casually asked her to have him introduce me to my crush, since he plays baseball too, I think. She said Mike was a jerk-off."

I didn't know what to say. I knew Mike was a pretty decent baseball player, so he was popular around campus, but I had not pegged him as a total douche.

Angela broke the silence when I didn't respond. "See, Lauren told me that she slept with Mike. He then proceeded to brag all over campus about what an easy lay she was."

My mouth hung open, but she continued anyways. "I don't know what to do now. I don't think the guy that I have a crush on is like that, but I don't know. I don't want him to think that I'm like Lauren either. I mean, I feel bad for her about the rumors and all, but who sleeps with a guy after knowing him for only a couple of days?"

After a few more moments of silence I decided to find my voice again. "Well, I umm, don't have a lot of experience in this department."

"But you're friends with that girl Alice Brandon, right?"

"Yeah, Alice is my best friend," I said, confused at the turn our conversation had taken.

"Well, Alice is like the most popular girl on campus, right?" she asked.

"Oh," I replied. Crap, now I know where she's going with this. "Umm, yeah, she's pretty popular you could say. But that doesn't mean _I _am in any way shape or form. I wouldn't know the first thing about meeting a guy, or talking to a crush, or whatever."

Once I was done rambling, she looked down at her hands again, defeated. Great, I'm failing at my job because I have a non-existent social life. I had to at least throw her a bone.

"So," I began, looking down at my own hands. "Alice told me something just the other day, and it gives me some hope when it comes to this stuff." Angela looked back up at me with new found hope in her eyes, so I continued. "Yeah, so she said that a situation will present itself and not to worry about it. Hey, we're still young and have a few more years here at Seattle U., where there seems to be a never ending supply of cute guys." I smiled at her, hoping she would feel better.

She smiled back. "Well, if Alice thinks that a couple of shy girls like us are bound to catch someone sooner or later, I guess I'll just wait it out. I mean, it's bound to happen sooner or later," she said looking over at me while rising from my bed.

I stood also, knowing she was looking for permission to leave and put us both of our misery. "Yeah, well, weirder things have happened," I said.

She walked over to the door ready to leave, but I couldn't let our conversation end on such an awkward note. "So are you coming to the Halloween party tonight? It's supposed to be really fun and your mystery man may be there," I said, fishing for his name while trying to remain nonchalant about it.

"No, I'm going to drive home to Portland for the weekend, but hey, thanks for listening to me rant about my love life. I know it's not really your job, but it did help," she said, letting me off of the hook.

"No problem and hey, my door is always open so feel free to drop by if you need to. Happy Halloween, Angela."

"Happy Halloween, Bella. Good luck with the dorm party tonight," she said before walking out into the hall.

Oh yeah, the dorm party was going to be a hoot. It was sure to be non-stop fun to stand around with the college employees required to attend, and the students who are too socially stunted to be invited to something more fun. Great.

Angela had nearly made me forget what I was doing before she knocked on my door – busy finding something to wear to the aforementioned party. Not only am I required to attend a party that was sure to be the event of the season for socially awkward young adults and my fellow co-workers, but we were being forced to dress up. Double the excitement for me folks! Bring on the mortification. I can't wait.

I don't need any extra reason, especially a lame costume on my part, to not want to attend a party tonight. I mean, my social life is put up on my bookshelf, next to my well worn _Harry Potter_ novels. I don't go out. Ever. I'm only friends with the uber-popular Alice Brandon because I rescued her from the class bully in Kindergarten back in our home town of Forks. She never really left my side after that. I knew people just assumed she took pity on me. They also assumed I had a girl crush on her.

I did nothing to sway the rumors, because I was never one to look for any outside attention. It was hard to escape it though, being the daughter of the local police chief. Not to mention the fact that my mother had up and left us when I was nine. Local gossip had flourished that year, and unfortunately, it never really died down.

I never blamed my mom for wanting escape small town life, it just wasn't like her to be "trapped" somewhere. I didn't leave with her because of the look on Charlie's face when he came home to her packing a suitcase, yelling about his late hours at work.

I had talked to my mom on the phone at night about three times a week since then. When I moved over to Seattle to come to school, I added Charlie as a phone pal and spoke to him about once or twice a week.

I had a pretty routine life around here now. I had three classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and two classes every Tuesday and Thursday. I talked to my parents on the phone most nights. I went out to lunch with Alice every other day, and she usually dragged me to the mall or on some shopping extravaganza every weekend. I am a routine kind of girl, and it suited me.

Speaking of routine… _Ring, ring_.

I walked over from where I had been staring into my closet for the last ten minutes, to my phone that was lying on the corner of my computer desk.

"Hi mom," I said into the receiver, not even glancing at the caller ID.

"How do you do that honey?" My mom was so clueless. How could she not know that I have absolutely no life and that the only person that ever calls me on Friday at seven thirty in the evening was her?

"Do what mom?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"My phone has caller ID mom. You know, where it tells you who is calling?"

"Stop making fun of your hare-brained mother, Bella. What are you up to tonight?"

"I've been trying to come up with a quick costume idea from my closet and failing miserably. What are you and Phil up to tonight? Have the trick-or-treaters raided your neighborhood en masse yet?"

Please, oh please don't pick up on the fact that I'm dressing up and ask about my plans.

"You're going out tonight Bella? Where are you going, some frat party? Did you get asked out? Do you have a date for tonight? Tell me everything – is he cute? What's his major?"

Dear lord, it was worse than I thought. Breathe through your nose Bella. In, out. In, out.

"No mom. I don't have a date. The dorm is throwing a Halloween party for the staff and residents and I need to go." I sighed into the phone. She was not going to let this go.

"Oh," she said, sounding somewhat defeated. "So, umm, what are you going to wear? Something sexy maybe? How about a vampire? Just throw on something short and black and wear some pale makeup with red lipstick. That would be a great conversation starter, you know."

"Yeah mom, I don't have anything short or black. I'll just wear my polo from my old job. I've got a whistle to throw around my neck and a matching baseball cap."

"You mean your uniform from last year – the one from the Foot Locker? Why honey? Why don't you throw on that dress I bought you last spring? You could be a, a..."

"A what mom?" I paused, knowing she was trying to come up with a better word for tramp. I would never wear that dress. Ever. "No, the umpire/referee thing is great. I don't want to strike up any conversations – you know how I don't like talking to new people. Anyways, now I'll be dressed up and comfortable at the same time. It'll be great, I promise."

"Oh, alright Bella. Have fun and don't forget to tell me all about it next week," she said.

"Sure thing mom – I'll talk to you on Monday, alright?" She was so predictable.

"Alright honey. Bye," she said before hanging up.

Well, now it was time to suck it up and go down to my own personal form of hell. I quickly threw on my old Foot Locker polo and a pair of black blue jeans. A baseball cap, the whistle, and my trusted Converse sneakers completed the look.

I looked at the full length mirror hanging on the back of my front door before leaving, and smirked at the girl reflected back at me. Tonight should be interesting - very interesting.

**A/N: This was a pain in the ass to get out of my head and onto the computer. **

**Kim – this is for you baby! You told me to "**_**Get Goin'**_**," so I got goin'….. Hope you like it. British Bitches – thank you for inviting me to participate in your smutty advent calendar – Oh and sorry for all of my crap. To Dustin – you are my favorite – you are my muse – you are my everything.**

**Please review this mother. I like it when you do. **_**Ah lot**_**. **


	2. Ch 2: You're paralyzed

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Two: You're paralyzed**

When the elevator doors opened into the lobby, I had to blink a few times. The common area of Weston Hall was barely recognizable through the constant flickering of a very bright strobe light. "Monster Mash" was blaring from the six speakers that had been delivered earlier in the day, and I had to shake my head a few times to orient myself with my surroundings.

I quickly spotted my boss Ted Banner by the front desk and strode over to him, giggling at his choice of costume as a giant ketchup bottle.

"HEY MR. BANNER. HOW IS THE PARTY GOING?" I shouted at him over the music.

"IS THAT YOU BELLA?"

"YES. HOW IS THE PARTY GOING, SIR?"

"IT'S GOING GOOD SO FAR." The music suddenly went quiet while Mr. Banner was still shouting. He turned beet red and looked around the room embarrassed.

The softer song "I Put a Spell on You" came on and Mr. Banner turned to face me. "So, a referee huh?"

I knew he was trying to turn the attention back to me after being caught shouting.

"Yeah, well, it was either this or a vampire." I wasn't about to let him start in on _my_ costume choice when his was so ridiculous. "I love yourcostume. Where's Mrs. Banner this evening?"

He turned red once again, matching his costume, and said, "She's the mustard bottle over by the refreshment table." He looked as if he was about to die of embarrassment.

I laughed at him once again and glanced over to the opposite side of the room, chuckling a bit more when I saw Mrs. Banner. She was trying to scoop some queso dip out onto her plate with a chip, and was apparently having a difficult time with it.

I quit laughing, and stopped breathing altogether when I saw who was standing next to her, desperately trying to balance her giant purse and a soda in his arms. Edward Cullen. Why was he here? I mean, I knew who he was and all – Alice had told me about him. Heck, I've even talked to him once. Well, I had said thank you when he opened the door at the Bursar's office for me a few weeks ago. That is considered talking, right?

I just never expected him to be here tonight. He was a junior like me and just as popular as Alice. She wouldn't be caught dead at this party. Wait a second, why _is_ he at this party? He_ is_ popular. He should not be at a party for the socially inept. Well, I mean, the socially inept and poor college employees such as myself.

"Bella are you alright? You look all flushed. Is the strobe light getting to you? Here, sit down, honey," Mr. Banner was saying, pulling out a computer chair from the front desk.

I had forgotten that I was standing next to him.

"Oh," I started, shaking my head. "No, I'm fine Mr. Banner. I just, umm, I umm, need some fresh air. I'll be right back, okay," I said, walking swiftly to the set of double doors.

Once outside, I walked over to the benches in the courtyard. The area was usually full of the smoking residents at Weston Hall, and I was glad that it was unoccupied tonight. I desperately needed to clear my head. I sat down, put my head between my legs and took in deep lungfulls of air.

What is wrong with me? I had seen him before and never reacted like this. Was it the fact that he was smiling at Mrs. Banner in her ridiculous mustard costume? Was it the fact that he was holding her huge purse in his outstretched arms for her? Or was it the fact that he looked so damn good wearing the tight grey pinstriped Seattle U baseball uniform?

Of course I thought he was gorgeous. How could you not? He had a warm smile on his full lips the few times I had seen him around campus. He was tall – probably six foot two, but lanky in build. He had the strangest shade of hair I had ever seen. It wasn't brown, but it wasn't red either. If I had to describe it, I supposed it was most like the color of a penny – bronze. He had style that most guys tried to emulate, but very few achieved. I doubt he even tried – he probably just woke up looking like that.

Get a grip Bella. Stop daydreaming about Edward Cullen. You've got to go back in there and… and what? There were hardly more than fifteen people at the party, including myself. They had probably not even noticed I was there in the first place.

I was fairly confident that I had bought myself some time with Mr. Banner as well – feigning nausea always worked with men. Wait, I was faking it, wasn't I?

I sat up, and realized that I wasn't. My head swirled and I let it loll back, while I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose with my right hand.

I heard loud music blare through the double doors of the dorm as they opened and closed once again. It was only around eight o'clock by now. People would just be leaving for the evening. I hoped it was just one of those students who had a real party to go to, and not Mr. Banner coming to check on me.

"Hey, are you okay? You looked kind of green in there. Well, you still do," said the smooth voice approaching from my right.

Oh no. Not him. I'd rather it be anyone but him. Please tell me it's not Edward Cullen that just walked over to me.

I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh, yeah umm – yeah, I guess the strobe light was getting to me." I bit my bottom lip. Why was he out here?

His brow creased and he cocked his head to the left a bit. "It's Bella, right? You're the RA on the women's side of my floor, the fifth floor?"

My head spun again. "Uh, yeah, I am on the fifth floor. You live here?" I questioned, jerking my head towards the door.

"Yeah, I'm in 534. I'm right in the middle of the hall by the elevators," he said, relaxing his brow.

How had I missed that? I'm never going to the bathroom again. He might see me! God, I'm pathetic.

I sat there stunned for a moment, until I realized I was gaping up at him with my wide stupid eyes.

"You're Edward," I said. I didn't even make it a question. He must think I have a disability of some sort.

He grinned and I noticed it was a bit crooked. I blinked a few times realizing I must really look stupid to him. He simply continued grinning at me and sat down on my right.

"Yeah, I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

Kill me now. He had only introduced himself, yet somehow it came out as smooth and as debonair as James Bond. I was really going to faint if he kept it up.

"I totally didn't mean for that to come out like that. I, umm, crap, I sounded like an idiot," he said.

I noticed a faint blush creep onto his cheeks. My face heated up. I bit my lower lip again and looked down at my lap.

A few tense moments of silence passed before he spoke again. "Bella," he said with concern. "Are you feeling better? Do you need me to get you some water or something?"

"No," I blurted out kind of loudly. I didn't want him to leave yet. "No," I said again, softer this time. "I'm feeling better now."

I turned my head in his direction and was surprised to find that he had scooted closer to me. I looked up at his face when I felt the weight of his stare. His eyes bore into mine and took a quick intake of breath when I noticed the deep shade of green they were. I had to remind myself to breathe again, or I would surely pass out.

He grinned at me once again. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he turned towards the double doors when the song "Thriller" escaped into the silence around us. Mr. Banner stepped outside, looking around intently before spotting us. I sneaked a glance at Edward's profile and saw that he was chewing on the inside of his left cheek, and I could swear his eyes narrowed a bit when Mr. Banner made his way over towards us.

"So the baseball player found the referee," Mr. Banner said, now standing in front of the bench we were sharing. "Bella, I brought you some water, but it seems that you are feeling better. The party is already winding down and most of the staff is about to leave, including my wife and I."

"Really?" I questioned, reaching for the water bottle Mr. Banner was extending towards me. "But it's still so early." I looked down at my watch and noticed it was 8:30. Had I really been out here with Edward for thirty minutes already?

"Yeah," Mr. Banner said once I looked back up at him. "The refreshments went kind of fast and once they were gone, the party was pretty much over. You know how it is with the staff," he said, chuckling.

Just then, the doors opened and Mrs. Banner came out followed by a couple dressed up as a caveman and cavewoman. She stood outside of the doors, wishing the couple a good night, before glancing over at her husband with an expectant look upon her face. Several other people exited the doors and walked past, saying their goodbyes to everyone and thanking them for the party. I turned my attention back to Mr. Banner.

"So, the DJ is packing up right now and the janitors will be in overnight to clean up, so I guess I'll see you on Monday for the RA meeting Bella. Edward," he said, turning his attention towards him, "Thanks for coming down to help out tonight. I'll see you on Tuesday. Good night." Edward nodded once to him before waving politely to Mrs. Banner.

Mr. Banner walked over to his wife, who waved in our direction, and then they walked out into the street towards the employee parking lot. I watched the Banners walk towards their vehicle for a moment before returning my attention back to Edward.

"What did he mean about Tuesday?" I asked, curious of the nature of their relationship.

"Oh, Mr. Banner never misses a Seattle U baseball game. He played right field in the eighties apparently. I've known him for three years now, and he asked me to come and help out tonight – so, here I am," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

That was odd. If he knew Mr. Banner so well, why had he reacted so strangely when he walked over towards us? I looked back down at my lap and scrunched up my brow in frustration.

"What are you thinking about now?"

I turned back towards him. "Me?"

"_Yeah you_," he replied. "You look confused."

"Oh, umm, well." I blinked slowly and swallowed.

"Well what?"

"I don't know. I just, I mean I didn't know that Mr. Banner played baseball. He doesn't strike me as the jock type – neither do you though," I mumbled, rolling the water bottle around in my hands.

"Well referee, you don't look like the sports type either," he said, tipping the brim of my cap. I looked over at him to find a smirk cross his lips.

"Oh, yeah," I said, embarrassed at my lame costume choice. "I didn't know we had to dress up until this afternoon and this was the only costume option I had."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I love costumes and all, but this was a last minute deal for me too," he said.

"But you play baseball. It's a good costume. Mine is stupid. I worked at the Foot Locker last year before getting my job as an RA this semester." I was rambling for the second time today. I really had to learn to stop doing that.

"I don't play baseball," he said in a determined tone.

"But, you said you knew Mr. Banner from baseball." Hadn't he just said that?

"Yeah, I know him from baseball."

Now I _was _confused. I cocked my head to the left in a questioning manner and pulled my eyebrows together. "You've lost me again."

"I'm an intern in the University athletic department. You know, a college employee – just like you Bella."

There was no way in hell he was just like me. I knew better. This is Edward Cullen we were talking about. Everyone on campus knew who Edward was. No one but Alice and my sixteen co-habitators of the women's wing of the fifth floor knew who I was.

I was still looking at him with a confused expression, so he continued.

"I'm going into sports medicine. I'm double majoring in kinesiology and biology in preparation for medical school in a year and a half. I used to play, but I blew out my rotator cuff freshman year, and it still isn't what it used to be after two surgeries." He circled his right shoulder for emphasis.

I was stunned. I would not have pegged him for the intellectual – doctor type. But then again, I would not have pegged him as a jock either. I had never seen him hang out with the big baseball players of Seattle U, but how would I know who he hung out with? On the rare occasion Alice dragged me out, I was a wallflower and chose to just people-watch instead of actually interacting with them. Our paths had just never really crossed, but I knew who he was – or I thought I did.

I shook my head once more, realizing I had stayed silent when it was clearly my turn to respond.

"A doctor, huh? Have you always wanted to go into sports medicine?"

His eyes drifted thoughtfully up to the right before landing on mine once again. "It's funny you ask. I _never _wanted to go into medicine." His crooked grin reappeared.

I smiled at him, hoping he would continue.

"See, my dad is a doctor. So naturally, I wanted nothing to do with medicine and was focused completely on baseball. A couple of friends from high school and I were recruited to the team, but when my shoulder went out, I knew I was done. Can't pitch with a bum rotator cuff, you know." He circled his right shoulder once more, holding onto it with his left hand this time.

"Anyway, the University has an awesome sports medicine department, and I figured since I couldn't play anymore but still loved the game, I might as well help those who still can. Plus, you can only avoid becoming like your parents for so long."

I started laughing and snorted, much to my embarrassment. He looked at me with the same confused expression I had given him only moments ago.

"What did I say?"

"Oh nothing, it's just that you hit the nail on the head," I said through my now controlled giggling.

"Oh yeah," he started, amused. "Your mom or your dad?"

"My mom of all people. She's a bit, err, eccentric you could say, but she's a writer."

"Mmmm," he replied, nodding his head. "A creative mind, huh? What does your dad do?"

I laughed again. "My dad is the police chief of Forks. It's a really tiny town up in the Olympic Peninsula."

He raised one eyebrow in surprise. "Yeah, I know where Forks is. It's about an hour away from Port Angeles, where I'm from. My dad is head of the cardiac wing of Port A Memorial."

"Oh my gosh – that's so strange. Alice used to drag me up there twice a week during high school to go shopping. And my friend Jacob and I drove over every other Friday last summer to go to the movies."

"Jacob," he said, with a strange tone in his voice. "Do you mean Jacob Black?" His forehead scrunched up once again.

"Yes – umm, do you guys know each other or something?" I couldn't understand why his mood had changed so quickly. He seemed so surprised at finding out that we had lived so close before, but now he seemed almost angry.

"He was an all-star a few years ago, right? Didn't he get recruited to some big college out east or something?"

"Oh, right," I said. He knew him from baseball, of course. What is it with guys and sports? I'd never understand.

"Yeah, he was MVP our senior year. He got recruited by UT to play for the Longhorns. He has a real high RBI, whatever the heck that means." I shrugged my shoulders and smirked.

One thing I loved about having Jacob as a friend was that he knew when it came to sports, I didn't get it. He never shoved that stuff down my throat. He never had to though – his girlfriend Leah was his biggest fan and cheerleader. She couldn't get enough of his stories. She even came over when Charlie would invite Jacob to come watch the Mariners play.

I looked back up at Edward and noticed that he was once again biting the inside of his left cheek. "So you two came over to watch movies a lot? I was away from home most of the summer, so I didn't get to see any." He shrugged and looked down into his lap.

I bit my lip again. I was confused by his sudden animosity towards me. Why was he suddenly acting so angry? Oh crap – maybe he thinks Jacob is my boyfriend. Wait – why would he be angry because of that? I'm probably reading too much into this. He's probably just ready to go now that I'm obviously feeling better. I mean, I have kept him out here for god knows how long now. I decided to test him.

"Yeah, Jacob's girlfriend Leah hates movies, and so does Alice, so Jake was always my go-to friend for all of the stupid ones that I just had to see." I looked directly into his eyes to gauge his reaction.

His crooked grin reappeared. I smiled back at him.

"Well, did you see any good ones that I need to go rent? I haven't seen a movie in ages."

"Nah, they were all dumb. I'm a sucker for good advertising. I hate it when you go to see a movie, and all of the good parts from the trailer have been left on the editing room floor."

He was still grinning at me, so I decided to delve a bit further. I set the bottle of water down next to me on the bench and put my hands on my knees, pulling my shoulders toward each other.

"So, what where you doing that kept you from the exciting night life of Port Angeles all summer?"

"Oh I know. I really missed out on the night life by staying here all summer." He gestured over his shoulder to the dorm entrance.

"You stayed here in Weston Hall? What on earth for?"

"Well, Division one of the College World Series started in June, so we all had to go to Omaha for the beginning of the summer. I've been traveling with the team since my freshman year, so I've just kept my same old dorm room this whole time." He bit his bottom lip and I could tell he was embarrassed to tell me that he'd been living in Weston for the past three years.

"Yeah, Weston is kinda my home away from home, you know?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I guess it's alright. I lived off campus for a while, but rent and tuition was getting ridiculous on a referee's salary," I explained, looking down at my stupid costume.

"So, I took the RA job the second I had enough hours to be considered for it. I don't think my poor old truck could take another year of driving the thirty minutes across town to the mall for work. This way there's no need for it." I gestured across the street to the parking lot.

"See that old red Chevy parked next to the shiny rich-looking silver car over on the left? Yep, that bucket is mine." I shrugged again and grinned at him.

He looked embarrassed.

"What?" I had to question him when I noticed the same faint blush from earlier creeping onto his cheeks.

"Yeah, umm, that's my car parked next to your truck."

Kill me now.

I felt my cheeks burn and knew that they were at least fifty times redder than his were. I brought my hand up to my face and smacked my forehead, hard.

Just then, a loud rumbling engine from the street caught my attention. I looked up to see a giant Jeep on huge wheels stop in front of the dorm. The driver hopped over his door and started jogging over to us.

"Edward," the guy called out, "Are you ready to go or what?"

"Yeah," Edward replied. I stood up to go inside and put an end to the mortification I was currently dwelling in, but lost my balance – of course.

I closed my eyes and braced myself with my hands for the fall, but instead I felt two strong hands grasp my waist. I opened my eyes to find Edward's face just inches from my own. I could feel his hot breath on my face. I blinked several times, unsure of what to say or do.

"Hey Edward, do you need a minute with your friend?"

"Jasper, this is Bella," Edward said while he set me upright onto my feet. "Bella, meet Jasper," he said, indicating his friend. Then he looked back at me and said, "Bella's from Forks."

"Oh yeah," Jasper questioned, raising his eyebrows.

I broke Edward's gaze to nod at Jasper before looking back at him.

"Yeah," Edward replied, without taking his eyes off of me. "Bella, Jasper was one of the players that got recruited out of Port A to come play up here. We went to high school together."

I nodded again. I couldn't seem to find my voice. I had just made a complete fool of myself talking about his car, and then I ended up in Edward's arms right after that. I didn't know what to say. I bit my lower lip again. It was quickly becoming a habit around him.

It wasn't helping that Edward and I seemed to be in some weird kind of staring contest.

Jasper decided to break the silence. "So, Edward, umm, you ready or what? I've got to tell you about this amazing girl I met this morning. She's supposed to be at the party."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot, unsure of what to do. I looked down.

"Yeah, umm, sure," I heard Edward say. "Give me just a minute, ok?"

"Sure dude. It was nice to meet you Bella," Jasper said. I looked up to respond, but he had already turned towards his Jeep.

"So Bella," Edward began, "I've got to go. Do you, umm, want to go to another party?"

I looked back down, suppressing a smile by biting the inside of my cheek like he had done earlier.

"No thank you Edward. I think I'm just going to go to bed already. There's probably a strobe light at that other party, and I'd just get sick again."

He looked down at his feet and I followed his gaze with my own eyes. He was shifting _his_ weight around now, and looked like he was trying to think of what to say next.

I let him off the hook. "Have a good time, Edward. It was really nice to meet you."

He looked up at me with a somewhat forced smile. "It was really nice to meet you too Bella."

Jasper honked his horn and Edward turned around to flip him off.

"Sorry about him, he's a bit impatient," he said, turning back to me.

"Not a problem. Have fun at the party."

"Ok." He began to bring his hand up, and I almost thought he was going to extend it for a handshake, but instead he brought it up to his mouth and bit one of his nails. He dropped it just as quickly. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

And with that, he turned towards the jeep, and I turned towards the double doors.

The music was from Jasper's Jeep was cranked up so high that I could hear it inside. I turned towards the elevators, smiling. Just before the elevator doors opened, I decided to catch one last glimpse of Edward.

I looked up just in time to see his face turned in my direction, before the Jeep pulled out into the road.

**A/N: Kim: I love you more than Robert too. And that is a fucking HUGE deal!**

**So I got a ton of hits, a ton of Favorites, and a ton of Story Alerts, which is great, but for the love of Pete – Please review this mother. I like it when you do. **_**Ah lot**_**. **


	3. Ch 3: Searching In Vain

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Three: Searching In Vain**

**EPOV**

I made my way down to the Quarry after my last mid-term this morning, and pulled out my phone to call Jasper. I was surprised to find that I had missed a text from him. It was only sent five minutes ago. What did he do now?

_E – God that last test was killer – Coach is gonna kill me if I fail. Meet me at the Six – J_

My own exams had been a painful glimpse of what I could expect in a month and a half when finals rolled around. It now looked as if I would not only have to study twice as hard for my own coursework, but to help out Jasper with his Microeconomics course.

He was unbelievable. Jasper was really very intelligent. He was on an academic scholarship here at Seattle U, and was one of the best shortstops the team had ever seen. But he was an American history fanatic and wanted to be a researcher for the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History one day. He had a ridiculously high GPA and made excellent grades in all of his upper level History courses, but he just could not seem to get past Microeconomics for the life of him. Poor guy had taken it twice now.

I sighed, thinking how I would have to dig out my old coursework and add it to the pile of material I was going to have to brush up on before December's finals came along. Oh well, it was only Halloween – I still had a month and a half before crunch time.

I spotted Jasper in line at "Six Cups", the campus coffee house, and made my way over to him.

"Jasper," I said, slipping in line in front of him. "What the hell man. I thought you said you were ready for your mid-terms."

He shrugged at me. "Yeah, well. I had other crap on my mind," he said, sounding indifferent.

"Oh yeah, like what?" I asked, making my way up to the counter. I turned to the cashier and asked for a tall black coffee. I needed some undiluted caffeine this morning.

"Jasper, what do you want?" I asked, turning back towards him.

"Get me a Grande White Chocolate Mocha," he answered.

I cocked an eyebrow at him before turning around and giving the cashier his order. We waited for a few minutes until our coffees were ready, and then made our way over to an empty table out in the courtyard. Once seated, I brought up our earlier subject.

"So what was this other crap on your mind?"

I looked up at Jasper over my coffee cup after a few quiet moments, expecting an answer. His eyes were focused behind me, so I turned around to see what the hell had captured his attention now.

It was a girl – a cute little thing too. She turned quickly away once she locked eyes with me.

I turned back to Jasper who was now looking down at his cup like nothing had just happened. I waved my hand in front of his face. He grudgingly looked back up at me and I knew that I had his attention now.

"So what happened in class again?" I asked once more, hoping I would get a response, or at least some form of acknowledgment this time.

He cleared his throat. "I don't know man, this semester has just been long already, you know? And now we're only halfway done. I'm just ready for a break. The Thanksgiving holiday break is still three weeks away though."

"I know what you mean," I said, nodding my head for emphasis.

I couldn't wait for this semester to be over. I felt drained. I had started a whole bunch of upper level courses this semester, and the combination of the workload of my classes and the internship with the Athletic Department was starting to wear me a bit thin. Jasper was basically in the same boat with his course load and practice sessions with the team.

He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair, and looked past me once again. A small smile settled on his face and I smirked, looking down at the coffee in my hands.

"Well, I guess I'll catch up with you later," I said to him.

His attention snapped back to me when I slid out of my seat to stand up. He cocked his brow at me questioning where I was going.

"Have fun man," I said, nodding my head behind me. He smiled up at me before I walked away, laughing at my friend's resumed attempt to flirt with the mystery girl.

I made my way back to the west side of campus, where my dorm was. I looked down at my watch and saw that it was still early – only 10:30 in the morning. Normally, I would have loved to stay and watch Jasper make an ass out of himself around the opposite sex. I didn't necessarily like hanging out in my dorm room all day, but today Weston Hall was exactly where I wanted to be.

I had seen _her_ twice now. The first time had been at the beginning of this semester. I was leaving the Bursar's office, checking up on the conditions of my academic scholarship, and she was heading towards the entrance, fumbling, with her arms full of papers sticking out in every direction.

She finally made her way to the door, which I was holding open for her, and she looked up. Our eyes locked for a second before a piece of paper in her arms started to come loose from the pile. She pushed it back in place and looked back up at me, blowing away the stray piece of hair that had fallen into her face with her full red lips.

I was captivated by her. And I was just standing there, pushing the door open from the inside of the building, gaping at her like an idiot. I think my mouth was even hanging open.

She smiled at me as we both just stood in the open doorway. I tentatively smiled back. She blinked a few times and looked back down at her papers, muttering "Thanks" at me, while walking swiftly past me into the building. I watched her walk away, realizing I hadn't said a word, and that I would probably never run into her again. After all, Seattle U had over sixty-five thousand students. There was no telling how many people it employed as well. I sighed, knowing I had blown my chance.

Just this last Monday evening however, I had seen her again. I walked out of my room to find the end of the right side of the fifth floor of Weston Hall full of girls sitting on the floor, laughing hysterically. I walked directly across the hall to the elevators and pushed the down button.

I knew I was running late for my Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy class' study session, so I was about to impatiently push the button once more when the laughter died down and I picked up on the conversation going on down the hall.

"Well, I mean, if they didn't intend for _that_ to happen, then they should have rethought the layout of this dorm," a girl was saying.

The emphasis she put on the word "that" piqued my interest, so I looked down the hall. That's when I saw her. She was standing in front of the girls – obviously the leader of this evening's meeting.

I was vaguely aware that the elevator doors had opened in front of me, but I did not get in. Instead, I strained my ears to hear what she was saying.

"Well, you know what advantages coed dorms have right around mid-terms?"

The elevator doors started to close, capturing the attention of most of the girls. They turned around to stare at me, so I quickly stepped inside, embarrassed at being caught intruding on their meeting.

Before the doors closed, I heard her say clear as a bell, "A whole mess of distraction."

The doors closed, and I stood there, laughing at her answer and at the fact that I had found her. In my dorm. On my floor.

So here I was, making my way back to Weston, in the vain hopes of seeing her again.

I pushed open the double doors and gave the lobby a quick sweep with my eyes. Instead of my mystery girl, I found Mr. Banner. And he was grinning ear to ear when he spotted me.

Mr. Banner had played right field for Seattle U years ago, and had rarely missed a game. We struck up a conversation my freshman year, when I was the new rookie pitcher, and had kept up a friendly banter ever since then. He had gotten a new job here at Weston just last year, as dormitory director, so I saw him even more often.

I waved and made my way over to him. "Hey Ted, sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you at last Tuesday's scrimmage. Quil, our newest third baseman, strained his lower back, so I took him out and put him in an ice bath."

"Oh, I was wondering where you had gone off to, Edward. Are you all done with mid-terms now?"

"Yes sir. I had my last one this morning," I answered.

"Oh, well that's good. That's real good." He was smiling at me now. "Say, Edward, do you have any plans for this evening?"

Jasper had been trying to rope me into going to a Halloween party that some frat house was throwing tonight all week. I was still not completely sold on the idea. Frat parties held absolutely no interest for me.

"Not really. Why? What did you have in mind?" He was up to something. I could tell by the shit-eating grin he had on his face.

"Well, now that you mention it, I sure could use your help setting up for the Halloween party tonight. It's for Weston's employees and residents. I was wondering if you could help me set up the tables for the DJ's equipment. He's supposed to be here with everything in about an hour and a half."

I shrugged and said, "Just tell me where you want them."

So I spent the better part of the afternoon helping Ted set up for the party that he insisted I come to.

After I found out that it was going to start around eight o'clock, I figured I could come down for a while. Jasper was supposedly picking me up around nine for the frat party, so I agreed to put in an appearance.

When we were done setting up the tables, and unfortunately, helping unload all six of the DJ's enormous speakers and setting them up, I walked over to the elevators to get ready for the evening's two parties I was now attending. The elevator opened and I stepped inside, pressing the button for the fifth floor.

"Hey Edward," Mr. Banner called before the doors shut. I looked up at him. "It's a costume party, so you better wear one."

I groaned and the doors shut, leaving me alone in the empty elevator. The doors opened with a ding when I reached my floor, and I walked across to my room, pulling my keys out of my pocket.

Once inside, I looked through my closet for a few minutes, dreading putting on the only thing I could make work as a last minute costume – my old Seattle U uniform. I pulled it out and laid it on my bed – apprehensive of how it would feel to have it on again.

The phone rang, and I looked down to find it was Emmett, one of my oldest friends. Emmett, Jasper, and I had grown up together playing ball. It was a wonder we were all recruited here to Seattle U together, but we never complained. It was the only school any of us had ever wanted to play for.

"What's up man?" I asked, answering the phone.

"Hey Edward – are you dressing up for this party we're going to tonight?"

I groaned into the phone. "Yeah man, I'm wearing my old uniform."

He let out a loud booming laugh. "Well pull the damn legs of your pants up tonight you pansy. It's baseball, not golf for cripes' sake." And with that, he hung up.

I just shook my head at him. He was always onto me for something or another. I hoped I wasn't the only one at the frat party in costume.

I looked over at the small clock on my nightstand and saw that it was already seven o'clock. I grabbed my toiletry bag and made my way next door to the men's showers to get ready and shave for the night.

At a quarter to eight, I made my way downstairs. I was immediately greeted my Ted and his wife, who looked absolutely ridiculous in their matching ketchup and mustard bottle costumes.

"Hey Ted. Mrs. Banner," I said, nodding to each of them respectively.

"Glad you could make it Edward," Ted said, eying my costume with approval.

I just nodded at him and turned my attention to his wife. "Mrs. Banner, you look as lovely as ever," I said with a big smile.

She blushed, matching her husband's giant red costume. "Oh Edward, I've told you a million times, call me Shirley."

"Surely you don't mean that," I said, not being able to resist. We had enjoyed our little game for years now.

She blushed once again before turning to her husband. "Ted," she said, "go with me over to the refreshment table, please."

He gave her a pointed look. She frowned at him and turned.

"I'll go with you," I said, following behind her. She turned and mouthed the words "thank you" to me, and I just cocked to head as if to say "no problem."

The song "Monster Mash" was playing pretty loudly as we made our way over to the refreshment table.

We got over to the food and she busied herself getting a soda and a plate, but was having trouble with her handbag swinging around. I extended my arms towards her and asked, "May I?"

She once again looked at me with thanks, and heaped her giant purse up into my still outstretched arms. I was caught a bit off guard with the weight of it, and it made my arms drop a bit. I was embarrassed, so I just left my arms straight out in the air. Then she went and put her soda in my hands.

"Thanks so much, Edward," she said, moving towards the queso dip.

The music abruptly changed, obviously catching Mr. Banner off guard, because he was talking rather loudly. I assumed he was trying to be heard over the music.

"GOOD SO FAR," I heard him shout, turning my head in his direction.

And there she was.

**A/N's: Thanks to everyone who has this on their Alerts & Favorites – you guys are amazing!! **

**Kim – My muse & soulmate, Twilight or no Twilight. LOL. Shut up in your face.**

**Dustin – you have a cute ass. Sorry peeps – he really does. Mmmm.**

**Alright everyone you know the drill – Review or I will make life difficult. Hee-Hee. I'm evil. An evil genius that is….**


	4. Ch 4: A Spooky Little Girl Like You

**A/Ns: Alright Pippapear: Our two favorite hesitators reemerge.**

**Thanks to my awesome beta AHelm for checking up on me all the time to make sure I am writing like I'm supposed to be… Shameless plug people: Go check out the story me & AHelm are writing together. It's called Tahoe Tanglings. Go, but read this first. And review. Do it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Four: A Spooky Little Girl Like You**

**EPOV**

She was standing with Mr. Banner, his face turning just as bright red as his costume. She smiled at him and looked down. It almost looked like she was suppressing the urge to laugh. I couldn't blame her. He looked ridiculous.

They resumed their conversation and she gestured to her costume, before smiling at Ted's ketchup bottle ensemble. She looked absolutely adorable in her black and white striped polo shirt, black cap, and black jeans. Huh, a referee.

"Edward, can you hand me a spoon, honey? This darn queso is just…" Shirley said, trailing off while trying to scoop the out dip with a flimsy chip.

I smirked at how ridiculous she looked wearing a giant mustard bottle, bent over the refreshment table. I probably looked just as stupid though, holding my arms straight out with her giant purse sitting on top of them. Honestly, what did she have in that thing? It must weigh fifty pounds.

I set the purse down at my feet before grabbing a plastic spoon and handing it to her. "Here you go Mrs.," she gave me a pointed look, "I mean, umm, Shirley."

She smiled and took the spoon from me. When she finished scooping the dip onto her plate, she grabbed a soda. As we turned back towards where we had left her husband, I saw that my mystery girl was holding onto the side of the desk.

"Oh my, I wonder what is wrong with Bella?" Shirley asked me, walking towards them.

Bella. So that was her name. How could her name mean anything other than beautiful?

When I looked back over at her, she had gone. I saw her high-tailing it toward the front door, and I desperately wanted to follow her, but I still had Shirley's purse at my feet. I realized I had not moved from my spot, so I grabbed her purse and walked quickly, trying to keep up with her as she made her way back over to where we had been standing.

"Honey, what was wrong with poor Bella?" Shirley asked her husband, once she reached him.

He shrugged. "Don't know actually. One minute she was laughing at our costumes, the next, her face was all flushed, and she said that she needed some air."

"Does she work here?" I asked, setting Shirley's bag down at the front desk. I was eager to know anything they could tell me about Bella.

"Sure she does. She's actually the RA on the women's side of the fifth floor," Ted said.

"Isn't that your floor Edward?" Shirley asked, a blush immediately forming on her cheeks.

I smirked at her. She was an impossible flirt. "Yes, Shirley. That's my floor."

She smiled at looked down. Her husband rolled his eyes.

"I think I'll go check on her, if that's okay with you Ted. Bella is her name, right?"

He smirked at me. "Bella Swan."

I nodded my head. "Right. Well, I'll catch up with you two later then."

Walking over to the set of double doors, I caught a glimpse of her sitting at the benches to my left. She was bent over, her head between her legs.

God, I hoped she wasn't sick. I really, really wanted to talk to her. I just needed to meet her at least. See if this was… See _what_ this was – this pull I felt towards her.

She sat up quickly, and I saw her face contort. It must have been too sudden a movement, because her head lolled back behind her, and she pinched the bridge of her nose. I could see her chest heaving with each breath she took.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. It was now or never.

I pushed open the doors and opened my eyes. When I stepped outside, my ears started ringing. I didn't realize how loud the music was playing at the party, but it was so quiet out here. Too quiet. I was afraid to speak. She hadn't turned in my direction and I didn't want to startle her. But I had to talk to her. I just had to.

"Hey, are you okay? You looked kind of green in there." I stepped toward the bench where she sat, and stopped in front of her. I looked down at her face and saw the pained expression currently resting there. "Well, you still do."

She slowly opened her eyes and looked right at me. "Oh, yeah umm – yeah, I guess the strobe light was getting to me." I wanted to kill the DJ. What kind of idiot still uses a strobe light?

She bit her bottom lip and I almost moaned out loud. God she was beautiful. Beautiful Bella.

"It's Bella right? You're the RA on the women's side of my floor, the fifth floor?"

_I am such a tool_, I thought. I was fishing for the confirmation of what Ted had said earlier, but why oh why did I say I lived on the fifth floor? She was going to think I was a stalker or something.

"Uh, yeah, I am on the fifth floor. You live here?" she asked, nodding behind her.

My face relaxed a bit and I said, "Yeah, I'm in 534. I'm right in the middle of the hall by the elevators."

Maybe she didn't think I was a stalker.

Well, maybe she did. A million thoughts were going through my mind.

She was staring at me, her eyes as wide as saucers. Crap, just start apologizing and tell her I'll leave her alone. Well, wait. Maybe she didn't know I lived here. Well shit. What do I do now?

"You're Edward," she said. It wasn't a question. I grinned at her and sat down.

"Yeah, I'm Edward. Edward Cullen."

Real smooth dipshit. _I'm Edward – Edward Cullen._ _I am not James Bond._ I am, however, an idiot. This girl was going to think I was a complete jackass.

"I totally didn't mean for that to come out like that. I, umm, crap, I sounded like an idiot," I stammered.

She blushed and bit that damn lip again, before looking down into her lap. God, what was she doing to me?

She sat there, just looking down at her lap and fidgeting with her hands at her sides for a few moments. I remembered that she was feeling ill earlier. "Bella, are you feeling better? Do you need me to get you some water or something?" I scooted closer to her. She smelled heavenly.

"NO!" she all but shouted at me. "No," she said again softly, "I'm feeling better now."

I was shocked that she wanted me to stay. She looked up at me, and my face was within inches of hers. Her features were so delicate. I stared into the deep umber color of her eyes, and the contrast of her long dark eyelashes fanned out over her flawless, soft pink cheek was breathtaking. Her full rosy lips parted. They looked so inviting and soft that I had to fight against the urge to reach over and touch them with my fingertips.

She took a deep breath, as if guessing my intentions, and I grinned sheepishly at her. I was about to tell her exactly how beautiful I thought she was when I heard the doors open behind me. The loud music from inside the dorm broke through the charged atmosphere we had created between our bodies.

I turned around and saw Mr. Banner. I couldn't believe he was coming out here. I narrowed my eyes at him and bit down on the inside of my cheek, gnashing my teeth.

_Way to ruin the moment, Ted._

"So the baseball player found the referee," he said, stopping in front of us. God, I probably looked so stupid in this costume. I had completely forgotten what I was wearing.

"Bella, I brought you some water, but it seems that you are feeling better. The party is already winding down and most of the staff is about to leave, including my wife and I."

"Really?" Bella asked, as Ted handed her the water bottle. "But it's still so early."

She looked down at her watch and I mentally kicked myself. She probably had plans for later tonight. How could she not? She was probably sitting out here just trying to come up with some nice way to tell me she wasn't interested.

"Yeah," Ted continued. "The refreshments went kind of fast and once they were gone, the party was pretty much over. You know how it is with the staff," he said, chuckling.

As if on cue, the double doors swung open, and Shirley came out with another couple. They said their goodbyes and Shirley looked our way. Bella turned her attention back to Ted, so I turned towards him, hoping he was about to leave us alone again.

"So, the DJ is packing up right now and the janitors will be in overnight to clean up. I guess I'll see you on Monday for the RA meeting Bella. Edward," he said, turning his attention towards me this time, "Thanks for coming down to help out tonight. I'll see you on Tuesday. Good night." I nodded and waved, grateful he was finally leaving.

I looked back over towards Bella, and waited for her to turn back towards me. When she finally did, she had a curious expression on her face.

"What did he mean about Tuesday?" she asked.

I explained to her how I had known Ted for the last three years because he was a Seattle U ball player, and how he had asked me to help out with setting up for the party earlier. I was surprised when she looked down at her lap and scrunched up her brow.

"What are you thinking about now?"

She turned back towards me. "Me?"

"_Yeah you_," I replied. God, she was adorable. I wanted to find out what was going on behind those eyes. "You look confused."

"Oh, umm, well..." She said, trailing off.

"Well what?"

"I don't know. I just, I mean I didn't know that Mr. Banner played baseball. He doesn't strike me as the jock type – neither do you though," she mumbled, rolling the water bottle around in her hands.

I smirked. Maybe she didn't think I looked like an idiot in my costume after all. That reminded me though – she was wearing a sports-related costume too. "Well referee, you don't look like the sports type either," I said, reaching over to tap the brim of her baseball cap.

"Oh, yeah," she countered. She looked down at her outfit. "I didn't know we had to dress up until this afternoon and this was the only costume option I had."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I love costumes and all, but this was a last minute deal for me too," I said.

"But you play baseball. It's a good costume. Mine is stupid. I worked at the Foot Locker last year before getting my job as an RA this semester."

"I don't play baseball." _Not anymore at least._

"But, you said you knew Mr. Banner from baseball."

"Yeah, I know him from baseball."

She cocked her head and her eyebrows pulled together. "You've lost me again."

"I'm an intern in the University athletic department. You know, a college employee – just like you Bella."

She was too beautiful. I knew I didn't have a chance in hell with her, but I couldn't will myself to leave her company. I couldn't will my brain to stop my mouth from moving either.

I explained to her that I was going into sports medicine, and how I used to play. That is, before my rotator cuff decided to crap out on me. I felt a twinge in my shoulder, and circled it, hoping the dull pain would somehow go away.

"A doctor, huh? Have you always wanted to go into sports medicine?"

I looked up, trying how best to word my answer. I looked back into her eyes before saying, "It's funny you ask. I _never _wanted to go into medicine."

I smiled at her, and she smiled warmly back at me.

"See, my dad is a doctor. So naturally, I wanted nothing to do with medicine and was focused completely on baseball. A couple of friends from high school and I were recruited to the team, but when my shoulder went out, I knew I was done. Can't pitch with a bum rotator cuff, you know." The pain in my shoulder returned once again, so I reached up with my left hand to rub the ache out.

When I told her you could only avoid becoming like your parents for so long, she laughed – hard. So hard that she actually snorted. "What did I say?"

"Oh nothing, it's just that you hit the nail on the head," she said, still giggling.

"Oh yeah," I said, cocking one eyebrow at her. "Your mom or your dad?"

"My mom of all people. She's a bit, err, eccentric you could say, but she's a writer."

"Mmmm," I replied, nodding my head. So she was creative, and had a flaky mother. That perked my interest in her father. I casually asked what he did, wondering if she had inherited any traits from him.

She laughed again. "My dad is the police chief of Forks. It's a really tiny town up in the Olympic Peninsula."

Oh, man. How was it possible that we grew up an hour away from each other, and I'd never seen her before? "Yeah, I know where Forks is. It's about an hour away from Port Angeles, where I'm from. My dad is head of the cardiac wing of Port A Memorial."

"Oh my gosh – that's so strange. Alice used to drag me up there twice a week during high school to go shopping. And my friend Jacob and I drove over every other Friday last summer to go to the movies."

"Jacob," I said. This must be her boyfriend. The name left a bad taste in my mouth. Wait – Jacob from Forks. "Do you mean Jacob Black?"

"Yes – umm, do you guys know each other or something?"

Of course Jacob Black was her boyfriend. Damn hot shot all-star player.

"Didn't he get recruited to some big college out east or something?"

I hope so.

"Yeah, he was MVP our senior year. He got recruited by UT to play for the Longhorns. He has a real high RBI, whatever the heck that means." She shrugged.

I gritted my teeth together_. _ Hey, at least he was all the way in Texas.

_Dude, shut up. She is so not interested in me, _I thought_._

"So you two came over to watch movies a lot? I was away from home most of the summer, so I didn't get to see any."

I was still gnashing my teeth together and biting the shit of the inside of my cheek when she started talking again.

"Yeah, Jacob's girlfriend Leah hates movies…" she started saying. I didn't listen to the rest. He had a girlfriend. Yes!

I relaxed, letting my anger for him go, and grinned over at her. She smiled back.

I needed to replay what she had just said, after I found out that he wasn't her boyfriend, so that I could rejoin the conversation. She had said something about movies, hadn't she?

"Well, did you see any good ones that I need to go rent? I haven't seen a movie in ages." I waited to see if I was on the right topic.

"Nah, they were all dumb. I'm a sucker for good advertising. I hate it when you go to see a movie, and all of the good parts from the trailer have been left on the editing room floor."

She set her water bottle down and put her hands on her knees. "So, what where you doing that kept you from the exciting night life of Port Angeles all summer?"

I smiled. Port Angeles didn't have a night life. But then again, neither did I. "Oh I know. I really missed out on the night life by staying here all summer."

"You stayed here in Weston Hall? What on earth for?"

I shrugged and explained about being in Omaha at the beginning of the summer for the College World Series and how I was always traveling with the team. I was embarrassed to admit that I'd stayed in dumb old Weston Hall for the last three years, but it was easier than keeping up with an apartment at this point. I wasn't here long enough to be uncomfortable with dorm life, and I wouldn't be at an apartment long enough to keep the water or heat turned on.

She seemed to agree with Weston not being too bad a place to call home for now, but then she started explaining how she had lived off campus before and how she couldn't afford both rent and tuition. I was surprised she was being so honest. Normally, people hated talking about money. Just like I did. I had inherited money from my late grandfather when he passed while I was still a small child. The only thing I had used it for really, was my tuition. My salary paid for all of my toys, and unfortunately, I was too busy to play with them most of the time.

She told me about getting her job as a Resident Advisor and explained how her vehicle probably couldn't make it across town to her old job anymore.

"See that old red Chevy parked next to the shiny rich-looking silver car over on the left? Yep, that bucket is mine," she said while gesturing to the parking lot. I looked over, and found her Chevy parked next to my car. God. Of course she was talking about my car. _She probably thinks I'm an asshole._

"Yeah, umm, that's my car parked next to your truck."

A bright red blush immediately bloomed on her pale skin. I felt horrible. What should I say now? What should I do?

As if on cue, Jasper's rumbling engine pulled up in front of us. He hopped over his door and jogged up to us.

"Edward, are you ready to go or what?"

Oh man. Not the stupid frat party. Shit.

"Yeah," I said_. Damn it._ Bella stood up next to me, and I stood with her. She must have lost her balance, because she clamped her eyes shut and braced herself for the fall. I reached out and grabbed her small waist before she hurt herself. I held her in my arms, and we were face to face again. I could feel her breath on my face. I could smell her hair. I could see the little gold flecks lining her deep umber eyes. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her until I couldn't breathe.

"Hey Edward, do you need a minute with your friend?"

_Shit._ I forgot Jasper was here.

"Jasper, this is Bella," I said, reluctantly setting Bella upright on her feet. "Bella, meet Jasper." I looked over to him. "Bella's from Forks."

"Oh yeah?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows.

I gave him a pointed look and then returned my attention back to Bella. "Yeah." She was looking right at me again. I had to remember to speak. I quickly explained that Jasper was a buddy from high school, and how he had gotten recruited to the team at the same time I had.

She just stood there, staring at me. Then she bit her lip again. I tried to control myself. We were all quiet for a few moments, before Jasper decided to intercede. "So, Edward, umm, you ready or what? I've got to tell you about this amazing girl I met this morning. She's supposed to be at the party."

Bella shifted uncomfortably next to me, before looking down at her feet.

Way to be an ass Jasper.

"Yeah, umm, sure," I said, motioning to her. She was still looking down. "Give me just a minute, ok?"

"Sure dude. It was nice to meet you Bella," he said with a smirk.

I mouthed the words "get the fuck out of here."

I looked back at her after Jasper finally turned to leave, and she was following his retreating form with her eyes. "So Bella," I began, "I've got to go. Do you, umm, want to go to another party?"

She looked back down, and I could swear she was trying her hardest not to smile.

_Please say yes. Please say yes. I really want you to say yes._

"No thank you, Edward. I think I'm just going to go to bed already. There's probably a strobe light at that other party, and I'd just get sick again."

Fuck. I looked down at _my_ feet this time. I tried to think of some way of convincing her to come with me.

"Have a good time, Edward. It was really nice to meet you."

I looked back up at her. She was so still. "It was really nice to meet you too Bella."

Jasper honked his horn and I turned around to flip him off. "Sorry about him, he's a bit impatient."

"Not a problem. Have fun at the party."

"Ok." I brought my hand up, biting my fingernail. She had smiled at me earlier. Maybe I should just ask her out. For coffee maybe?

Shit. Emmett was right. I _am _a pansy. "Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward."

I looked down at my feet again, and turned towards Jasper. When I made it to the Jeep, he had The Beastie Boys blaring. I hopped in, sad to be driving away from her. I looked back towards the bench we had shared for the last hour, and mentally kicked myself. I should have just done it.

I caught a glimpse of her smiling out towards me through the window, before Jasper pulled away from the curb. When he came up to the stop sign a few seconds later, I reached over and turned the radio off.

"What the fuck man? That was Intergalactic. That song is the shit."

"It is the shit, but that's not the point, dickhead," I said.

He gave me a knowing look. "Aww man. Come on. I need you tonight. This chick Alice is hot, but I needed you to be my wingman. Please?"

"Sorry man. She just… She's… I…."

He smiled at me. Fuck. I am a blubbering idiot.

"I gotta go dude," I said, jumping out over the door. "Talk to you later. Have fun man," I yelled back at him.

He honked his horn at me while I jogged the block back to Weston. I flung the double doors open once I made it over there, and ran up to the elevators. The doors swung open, and I pushed the button for my, no, _our_ floor.

When I stepped out into the hall of the fifth floor, my heart was pounding. I looked to my left, and found an empty hallway. I walked down, looking at the various nametags made of glitter pasted on the doors, until I reached the end of the hall.

In big letters across the top, it read "Bella Swan, Resident Advisor." Right underneath that, a dry erase board was affixed to the door. I made a fist, ready to knock, when I heard music pour out from under her door.

I heard her voice start singing along with the soft melody, and strained to hear what it was that she was singing.

I decided not to bother her. I picked up the black felt marker attached to the dry erase board and began to write.

"Bella – I'm in 534. Come and see me."

No. That wasn't the right thing to say. I erased it. I brought the marker back up to the board, and was about to write that I had a really good time tonight with her, but I decided not to. I put the marker cap back on, and reattached the Velcro.

I would just wait. I would make sure I saw Bella again. I was sure of it.

**A/Ns: Ok, Ok. I know you're pissed that it took forever for me to update, but you just have to forgive me. I just gave you ten more pages of insight into Edward's brain. Oh, and I promise to have the next chapter up within days, not weeks this time. **

**Kim – as always, you are my muse. Thanks for listening to me drone on and on for hours. I love making you laugh. And I love that you laugh when I do. **

**No bullshit. I will post in like two days, maybe one if you – **_**you know**_**…REVIEW! So do it – do it now!**


	5. Ch 5: What Is The Hold Up?

**A/N's: Thanks to my awesome beta AHelm for checking up on me all the time to make sure I am writing like I'm supposed to be… Shameless plug people: Go check out the story me & AHelm are writing together. It's called Tahoe Tanglings. Go, but read this first. And review. Do it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Five: What Is The Hold Up? **

**BPOV**

Two weeks passed and my futile attempts to see Edward again were not working out. I was being ridiculous. I hung out by the elevators on my – no, _o_ur – floor in the evening, set on pretending to be waiting for one, but he never came out of his room. I lounged around the lobby extra early in the morning, hoping to catch him on his way to class, but that didn't work either. I had been late to my MWF Advanced Fiction Class at least three times over these last two weeks. Professor Johnston had not been impressed.

It was Friday once again. I had gotten soaked in between my first and second class, which were clear across campus from each other, because I had forgotten my umbrella this morning. I was glad my third class for the day was a writing workshop, because we walked in, were told what to write about, and then got to leave. I needed to get changed before I caught my death.

I dreaded running into Edward looking like I did though. I really didn't want to go back to the scene of the crime, Weston, so I decided to go down to the University Quarry and get a ridiculously overpriced latte. Caffeine is my only vice and I have no intention giving it up anytime soon.

I made my way over to "Six Cups," the on campus coffee house, and got in the back of the non-moving line. I was standing patiently in line for about three minutes before craning my neck around the big guy standing in front of me. He must be at least six foot four. I had to really lean over to get a view of the counter in front of the store. I ended up having to take a step to my left to see what the hold up was.

I spotted the problem quickly. The cashier was being held up by the cute blonde in the front of the line. She was bent over the counter and was obviously flirting with him. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

This caught the attention of the big guy in line ahead of me, and the guy standing in front of him. I'd recognize that color hair anywhere. _Crap. Please Lord, not now_.

He turned around and smiled. "Hey Bella."

I sort of smiled back. "Oh hey Edward." Of course he sees me now. I must look like a drowned rat with my hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, and all traces of this morning's makeup either smeared under my eyes, or washed away by this morning's rain.

The big guy in front of me smiled at Edward, then looked down at me and smiled. "So this is the famous Bella." He smacked Edward on the back with one of his large hands. "I'm Emmett. I play baseball with young Edward here."

I sheepishly grinned up at Emmett for making fun of Edward. But what exactly did he mean about "the famous Bella?"

"Don't mind Emmett, Bella. He's your garden variety asswipe," said Edward.

I opened my mouth in surprise, not knowing how to respond.

"Does she speak?" Emmett was eyeing me with his eyebrows knitted together.

I decided to stop being an ass in front of Edward's friend and come back to life. "Yeah – just waiting on my afternoon caffeine. Sounds like you two don't need any."

We moved up a few places in line. The blonde must have finally gotten her drink.

"What makes you think I don't need caffeine, Bella? I like caffeine," replied Emmett.

"He only got in line with me to ogle that blonde," Edward said, nodding his head over to the girl who had been holding up the line. She was now sitting down at one of the tables dotted around the Quarry.

I looked up at Emmett. "It's guys like you that hold up the line for us caffeine-addicts. I see how it is. You just don't care for the needs of others. Only out for yourself, huh?"

He looked down at me and a slow grin appeared on his face, showing his adorable dimples. "Edward, you didn't tell me your new friend knew how to play with the big boys."

I smirked. I could play his games. I looked over at Edward, and swayed on my feet a bit. He was giving me that crooked grin again.

"I didn't know she liked to play, Emmett."

We had finally moved up in the line and Edward and Emmett were next. Edward turned towards the cashier and placed his order before turning back towards us. "Emmett, do you want anything?"

Emmett just shook his head, still eyeing me.

"Bella, what do you want?"

I looked from Emmett to Edward. "That's okay - I can get my own coffee." I bit my lower lip. It came out a bit more snarky than I had originally intended.

Edward raised his left eyebrow, credit card in hand. "Humor me, Bella."

"Alright then," I said, giving in. "I'll take a Venti Hazelnut Latte – with an extra shot of Hazelnut."

This time Emmett clapped me on the back. "Now that's my kind of girl."

I looked up at him and laughed.

When Edward and I got our drinks, I walked out and away from the pick up counter and line, not wanting to hold it up. I wasn't sure if we were going to continue hanging out with our drinks, or if Edward had somewhere to be.

I looked back at the two of them, and found Edward gesturing towards an empty table. I gave him a questioning expression. He smirked while Emmett waved me over to the table. They were sitting across from each other and I wasn't sure who to sit next to.

Emmett laughed at me when I was still standing in front of them after a few moments. Under the table, he kicked the chair next to Edward away from the table. I looked down at Edward. He was chewing the inside of his cheek again.

I sat down and took a sip of my latte. I wasn't sure what to say, so I scanned the Quarry, avoiding eye contact with Edward.

Emmett broke the silence when he pulled out his phone to laugh at the text message he received.

Edward shifted around in his seat next to me. "What's so funny?"

"It's Rosalie. She wondered if I liked the show she put on for me earlier."

Edward turned towards me. "Rose is the blonde that was holding up your caffeine fix. She also happens to be Emmett's girlfriend."

I gaped over at Emmett. "That was your girlfriend? I don't understand."

"Neither do I," said Edward, looking at Emmett with a sly grin. "They like to play with each other I guess."

"Yeah," agreed Emmett. "We like to play."

I scrunched up my nose from his innuendo. To avoid eye contact with him, I scanned the Quarry once more in the direction I had seen Rosalie sit in earlier. She was no longer there.

"Where'd she go? How come she didn't come and sit with you guys?"

"Oh, she was just playing with me. I'll get her back later," said Emmett before looking down at his phone again. "Dude, we've got to go – coach will kill me if I'm late again."

He stood up and looked down at Edward. "It was really nice to meet you Bella."

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you too Emmett." I stood up, ready to part ways.

"This seems to happen to us every time, huh Bella?"

I looked down at Edward. He ran his fingers through his hair before standing up.

"No big deal. You two have fun," I said, disappointed that he had to go as well.

He sighed and nodded at Emmett, who had pointed to his watch. "See ya around, Bella."

"Yeah, umm, I'll see you later. Bye." My teeth bit into my lower lip. I really needed to stop doing that.

Emmett gave me a short wave before he turned towards the east wing of campus. Edward shot an apologetic grin towards me before turning and following Emmett across the Quarry.

I sat back down to finish my coffee while watching Edward walk away. When my coffee was cold, I sighed and began the trek back to Weston Hall. It only took about fifteen minutes to walk there from this point on campus, so I decided to spare my truck and just walk everyday.

I made it back to the dorm in no time, and was grateful that I didn't have any meetings this afternoon – I really just wanted to sit and relax for a while. It had been a really long and strange day so far. I scanned my dry erase board when I reached my door, to see if any of the girls had left a message for me. I was relieved to find it empty.

I finally made it into my room and kicked off my still-wet tennis shoes. I drug on a pair of grungy sweats and pulled out my writing journal to begin brainstorming for my afternoon writing workshop. I needed to have a topic by Monday. It wouldn't take me long to come up with a story idea, and I didn't have anything better to do.

I pulled out my iPod and made my way over to the bed with my pen and journal. I drew a few absentminded loops and circles on the page for about ten minutes, and then shut my eyes to think properly. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up to a dull thumping noise coming from somewhere near my left ear. I looked for the source of the noise and found my iPod ear buds next to my head. They must have fallen out during my impromptu nap. My hair smelled like mildew. I needed a shower – badly.

I gathered up my toiletries and made my down the hall towards the middle, where the women's bathrooms where. I took my time in the shower. It was only around five o'clock, so there was still a good supply of hot water. If I had waited any longer, it would be either packed with fifteen girls getting ready for the night, or it was a cold shower for me. Friday nights were the worst around here. I lingered under the water until I heard a few girls come in, chatting about what frat party they would be attending in a few hours.

I grabbed the towel from the hook outside of my shower stall and dried off. I wrapped it around my body and grabbed my things to take over to the sinks on the other side of the bathroom. Finally, I brushed out my hair and grabbed my toothbrush. When I had finished scrubbing and gargling out my nap and coffee induced dragon breath, I looked behind me for my sweats to change into.

With a defeated sigh, I realized that in my sleep induced haze, I had forgotten to bring a clean change of clothes. I refused to put my dirty ones back on, so I wrapped the towel around myself tighter and peeked out of the bathroom door to see if the coast was clear.

I turned my head to the left, looking up the boys' hallway to see if it was empty. I had never left the bathroom in just a towel before. I wasn't necessarily modest – it was hard to be with a communal bathroom, but I wasn't voyeuristic either. The hallway was empty, so I decided to take my chances and run for it.

The second I stepped out into the hall, the elevator opened to my left. I turned around prepared to walk back into the bathroom when I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

I looked down at the floor, terrified that I knew exactly who it was. I turned around slowly and my hunch was confirmed.

"Funny running into you here," I said looking straight at Edward's beet red face. I had my towel in a death grip with my left hand, and my toiletries and dirty clothes scrunched up in my right.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand.

"Umm, hey…" he said, trailing off. He bit the inside of his cheek and he looked really uncomfortable.

"So," I said, raising my eyebrows.

"So," he repeated, rocking back and forth on his heels.

His eyes darted down to my right hand and his mouth fell open a bit. I looked down at what had captured his attention and realized my bra was hanging out. I pulled it behind my body and smiled at him, a bit embarrassed.

His eyes swept up my body slowly and he blushed when his gaze met mine.

"Well, I better go, umm, get dressed now," I said, unsure of what to do next.

He drew his lower lip into his mouth and then let it back out. He looked down and then back up at me.

"So, I'll see you later Edward." I smiled over at him. He was obviously at a loss for words. It was funny to watch _him_ squirm.

He nodded at me and fished his keys out of his pocket. He kept his eyes on me to walk across the hall to his room. He was still looking at me while trying, unsuccessfully, to put his key into his door. I looked down at his fumbling hands and saw that he was trying to open his door with a black car key with a wireless remote. I bit my lip through my smile and looked back up to his face.

"I don't think that key works on your door, Edward." He looked down at his hands and then back up at me.

I grinned once more at him and turned to walk down to my room, smiling the whole way.

**A/Ns: Ok, Ok. I know you're pissed that it took more than two days. All I have to defend myself is this: I am currently fighting a wicked sinus infection. Thanks for all of your well wishes – they are totally working. That is exactly why I am updating!**

**Kim – Thanks for calling me when you've had too much wine. It makes me snort. And thanks for going on and on with me about how hot Robert unfing Pattinson is. **

**Alright people – see this box here: Click it and leave the review. Do it, and I just may bring Edward back out to play for a bit. You'd like that, wouldn't you?**


	6. Ch 6: You Smiled For A Second

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Six: You Smiled For A Second**

**EPOV**

I had become one of those weirdos.

I desperately wanted to see Bella again, so I had taken to waiting casually around a few places I thought I would just happen to run into her. I stayed in the lobby of Weston during the evenings, hoping to catch her coming or going. I waited outside in the Quarry by the Six hoping she'd come by for coffee before her morning classes. It caused me to be late to my Tuesday/Thursday Biomechanics course twice. I was pathetic.

I had been searching for two weeks, and on Friday she found me. Well, sort of.

It was already eleven o'clock and I was running on empty. I needed caffeine right then if I was to survive practice that afternoon. Emm had gotten a text from Rose saying to meet her, so we made our way to the Quarry and got in line at the Six.

And Bella just happened to be in line right behind us. She was soaking wet. Her hair was damp, and a few tendrils from her ponytail had come loose, swirling around her face. She looked like she had been misted with mineral water. Her skin was all dewy and fresh. I almost forgot how to speak.

Of course Emmett knew how to. And he was a complete jackass. "So this is the famous Bella," he had said. God, I hoped she didn't read into that. I hoped it wasn't completely obvious that I had been talking about her nonstop for two weeks. That I had desperately wanted to see her again after the Halloween party. That Emmett had threatened to go knock on her door last Saturday when he was in my room playing Wii Mario Cart with me.

Emmett's behavior towards her hadn't surprised me in the least. He let her in on the fact that he wasn't really in line for coffee, and she let him know what she thought about that. I was impressed with her quick wit. Anyone who could stop Emmett McCarty in his tracks was ok in my book. "Only out for yourself, huh?" she had asked.

She hit the nail on the head. The only reason Emmett was in line was because Rose was giving him a show. Hell, she was giving everyone a show that afternoon. She was bent over the counter, showing the cashier her ample cleavage I'm sure, and the rest of the line her… assets. Everyone was eating it up, especially the cashier from the looks he was giving her. Poor guy didn't know he was playing with fire.

I was always confused as to why Emmett liked it when she did that kind of stuff. They had been together so long that I just had to roll my eyes at their "games," and at his constant sexual innuendos. Emm may have been an asswipe, but those two were perfect for each other.

When we finally made it up to the counter, Bella refused to let me pay for her coffee. She was so stubborn. I won out eventually though, paying for both of our drinks. When they were ready, I hoped she would join me for a while, and that Emmett would somehow disappear.

I made my way over to an empty table, and was suddenly nervous to be around Bella. Especially when she sat down next to me. I tried hard to calm my nerves, and was actually glad Emm hadn't disappeared – he kept the conversation light.

As soon as I started to relax around her, it was time to go. Was I being punished? I had finally gotten to see her again. I was so mad that I couldn't stay and just sit with her all afternoon.

I made some comment on how this had happened to us before and she replied with "no big deal." _No big deal_. Like it didn't even matter. Maybe I was reading too much into this. Maybe I was a stalker. I _was_ looking for her for two weeks. I had been ecstatic to find her, and it was _no big deal_ that I had to go.

I said I would see her later, and she bit into her lower lip. God she was fascinating. I wanted nothing more than to find out everything I could about her. Like why she bit her lip all of the time. Or why she drove an old Chevy pickup. Or why she absolutely hated the fact that I had just paid for her coffee. There were just a million things that I wanted to know about her.

I had to will my feet to move away from her. I was in a daze until I reached the locker room. But I was brought out of it soon enough, because Emmett just wouldn't let up.

"So you got it pretty bad, huh Cullen?" he asked while I taped up Jasper's lower back.

"What is he talking about?" Jasper asked me.

"Dude, he hasn't told you about Bella? Come on man, why am I the only one that has to put up with your emo shit?" Emmett asked, looking over at me.

"Shut up Emm," Jasper said as I was finishing up. I smirked at him. He knew how to handle our old friend. Kind of like Bella had earlier that day.

"Oh, is Bella that chick you ditched me for on Halloween? I hope that's working out," he said.

"What? He hadn't seen her again until today. She was in line behind us at the Six. I was playing with Rose. Which reminds me, I gotta give that girl a dose of her own medicine later," Emmett said with a wink.

Gross. I didn't think I would ever understand those two.

The three of us made our way out to the practice field, and I had never been so unwilling to go. I loved my job, and I loved baseball. But that afternoon was just the worst possible time for me to be on the field.

I stood around, watching Coach Miller run batting practice, with each hitter getting about ten to fifteen swings in. Each pitcher took turns throwing to Coach Green as the rest of the team stood around to watch. I didn't know who was more bored that afternoon, the players or me.

As practice progressed, I noticed Jasper standing on the sideline. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there, and I really couldn't blame him. I ended up standing around for two tedious hours just staring off into space.

By the looks on both Jasper's and Emmett's faces in the locker room after practice, I knew I wasn't the only one who was feeling out of it that afternoon. Maybe it was because it was Friday. Maybe it was because the semester was getting to all of us. Whatever it was, I hoped we could all shake it off.

I told the guys I'd see them later that weekend, and made my way out to the parking lot outside of the practice field. I was glad I'd left my car there earlier, because the twenty minute hike to Weston at the end of a day like that was just not something I wished for anyone. I pulled in to my usual spot and smiled over at Bella's red Chevy. It hadn't moved an inch since she had pointed it out to me two weeks ago.

I gave my now customary glance through the lobby looking for her before sulking off towards the elevators. _Oh well, twice in one day would have been a miracle._

I stepped into the elevator and punched my floor before looking down at my feet. I put my hand up to my face, trying to rub away the tension currently settling into the crease in my forehead.

I said I was going to make a move. Then I didn't write a message on her board. Then I see her for coffee and start off well before I just blow it by being me. _I am such a…_

The elevator dinged, breaking me out of my mope. I sighed and brought my hand down.

I looked across the hall and saw that her body was turned towards the bathroom door. I couldn't even see her face. But I just knew it was her.

Bella.

In a towel.

Dear lord.

_Alright, focus Edward_, I told myself. I cleared my throat. I think I spoke. I remember saying something, or trying to. My mouth had suddenly gone dry. I also apparently thought I could open my dorm room door with my Volvo key.

After she left me standing there gaping at her, I had somehow managed to make it back inside of my room. I threw my keys down on my nightstand and looked at them.

Traitors. How could they let me make a shit out of myself?

She was naked. Bella, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen – was naked. No clothes, no makeup, hell no nothing. And I had seen her bra. And it was a deep blue. And satin. Smooth like her creamy skin. She was stunning.

Words failed me. I could never manage to say the right thing. I never quite said what I wanted to. Not when I was around her, anyways.

I would just have to try harder.

**BPOV **

Throughout the week after 'the towel incident', as I had come to call it, I saw Edward everywhere. He was downstairs lounging in the lobby when I came down for class on Monday. He was in the hallway after my last class on Tuesday. On Wednesday, we sat and had a quick coffee together in the Quarry. On Thursday evening, we ended up in the same elevator on our way up to the fifth floor.

I had enjoyed quick, pleasant conversations with him all week. We had both avoided talking about the towel incident, but we had talked about other things.

He asked about my friends on Wednesday during our coffee chat, and I had told him all about Alice. I chatted away about how long we had been friends, and reminded him that she had taken me to Port Angeles often in high school to go shop.

It was Monday afternoon and once we turned in our latest writing assignment, my class was let out early again. I hurried down to the Quarry in the hopes of running into Edward. Even though I had seen him four times last week, I had not seen him Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Thanksgiving break started tomorrow, and I selfishly wanted to see him once more before I left for Forks.

Walking up to the Quarry, I hesitantly scanned the throngs of people waiting around in various groups and lines. I looked down at my feet, realizing it would be hard to spot him in the crowd. I pulled out my phone and was about to do the unthinkable – call Alice to cover my embarrassment for standing hopelessly around the Quarry. Just when I was about to push the send button on her highlighted name, I spotted him quickly making his way over towards me.

I snapped my phone shut and shoved it in my pocket. I could see that he had a huge smile on his face. I bit my lip and grinned back towards him.

He finally made his way over to me and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself," I replied. "Where's Emmett?" I looked around and scanned the crowd for him before turning my attention back to Edward.

His smile faltered. "Oh, umm, he's at practice today."

"You don't have to be there today?" _Please say no, please say no…._

"Nah, I have the day off. I've got to work tomorrow and Wednesday this week before I go home for the holiday. Are you going home?" He bit the inside of his cheek. It must be some kind of nervous tic or something. He seemed almost unaware that he was doing it. I wondered if he had rubbed a spot raw inside of his mouth.

I looked at him and blinked, pulling myself out of my head and back into the present conversation. "Oh yeah, Alice is driving me home tomorrow. The Chevy's been acting up lately. I don't know what its problem is. I guess I hurt it's feelings on Halloween." I shrugged my shoulders for emphasis.

He laughed at me and said, "Yeah, you were kinda harsh. Good thing Alice can take you home. I'm riding with Jasper on Wednesday. Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "Jasper just started dating some girl named Alice Brandon. He said she was really short. Could it be the same Alice?"

I cocked my head to the side. I had not talked to Alice in two, no three weeks. How had that happened? Had I been too busy stalking Edward to notice that Alice and I had not called each other this whole time?

"Yeah, she's short alright. Shorter than me, and that's saying something. She's barely five foot one. I haven't talked to her in a while. Are they dating now? I didn't know." I was rambling again. _Shut up Bella. Just shut up now._

"Yeah, I guess. Funny you said that you haven't talked to her in a while. I don't think Jasper has been away from her since that Halloween party I was supposed to go with him to. But I'm not really sure. We haven't really talked outside of practice. I've been spending more time with Emm lately."

Whoa – he didn't go to the party? I wonder why. I mean, I'm glad he didn't go hook up with some sorority chick or anything._ Shit – is it my turn to talk again? _

We both looked around for a few moments, unsure of what to do next. My stomach intervened by growling, loudly.

He looked down at it with a smile. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," I said, embarrassed.

He put his hand on the small of my back and led me down to the food court on the opposite side of the Quarry. I wished I could feel the warmth of his hand, but I had on a sweater with my hoodie over it.

We got in line at one of the deli shops. I chose my food and made my way over to the cashier, but Edward stepped in front of me and paid for my food before I could protest.

We chose the first empty table we could find and sat across from each other this time.

"You really have to stop paying. I mean, you've paid for my coffee twice, and now you go and pay for my lunch."

He smirked at me and said, "Well, my next coffee is on you."

I smiled down into the table, relishing at the idea that he wanted to meet up for coffee again sometime. I was getting used to spending so much time with him. I looked up at him and said, "Deal."

He smiled back at me.

We ate in comfortable silence and when we finished, he walked with me back to the dorms. We chit-chatted about our work schedules, the unpredictable Washington weather, and the fact that our best friends were apparently dating each other. Before we knew it, we had arrived on the fifth floor of Weston Hall, and were standing in front of Edward's room.

He opened the door, this time without a problem, and turned towards me. "Do you want to come in?" He had a strange look on his face. He was obviously nervous, but I caught some other emotion flash behind his eyes. Or at least, I thought I saw something else there. Maybe it was just me – wishful thinking and all.

I wasn't sure what to say, so I declined. "I'd better not." He nodded at me, looking somewhat disappointed. I could have imagined that as well though. I decided my refusal needed further explanation. "I need to pack. Alice is a morning person. She'll want to get out of here at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow." I shrugged my shoulders.

"I understand," he said. He definitely sounded disappointed this time. Maybe I wasn't imagining it. He shrugged and said, "See you next week then, I guess."

"Yeah, I'll see you next week. I owe you a coffee, remember?"

He smiled at me and I grinned back at him, before turning towards my room. Once I made my way down to the end of the hall, I looked back towards his room. He was still standing in the hall, looking at me.

"Happy Thanksgiving Bella," he said. I was surprised I could hear him. His voice was soft and sweet.

"Happy Thanksgiving Edward," I said back.

It was going to be a long holiday.

**A/N's: First – don't hunt me down. Tahoe Tanglings is so much fun that I got wrapped up in it! Shameless plug people: Go check out the story. AHelm is my co-author and rock star beta! **

**Pippapear – your reviews are so great that I actually quoted one of them a bit in this chapter. Did you catch it?**

**Robert Smith is a god. I shamelessly used a few of his lyrics. If you caught them, I think I love you.**

**Kim – you are made of win. Think green mask on your face. Think Helga's house of pain. And laugh your ass off with me. :)**

**Alright people – see this box here: Click it and leave the review. Do it, okay? I promise to crank out the updates if you flood my inbox. Well, I'll probably crank them out anyways, but I'd really fracken love it if you flooded my inbox.**


	7. Ch 7: Where Are We Now?

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Seven: Where Are We Now**

**BPOV**

My alarm clock rang at six a.m. the next morning. Fifteen minutes later, Alice was banging on my door. "Bella, let's go already."

I flung it open, and said, "Alright already. I'm ready, let's go." Alice was nothing, if not impatient.

I was happy to see her. It seemed like ages since we had last spoken. Once we were on the highway, we talked about how long it had been since we had last seen each other, and the reasons why we had been too preoccupied to keep in touch. The topic of conversation quickly turned to Jasper, and while Alice droned on about him, she drove like a bat out of hell.

I found out that she officially met Jasper on Halloween day in the Quarry. She told me that she had been eyeing him for a while, but had previously been to shy to introduce herself. When they did meet, they fell into an easy conversation and invited each other to the Halloween party that evening.

When she stopped talking for a millisecond, I jumped in, explaining how I had met Edward at Weston that night, and how Jasper had come to steal him away from me. I told her how Edward and I had met up and spoken a handful of times since that night, and she gave me a sly smile before bringing up Jasper once more.

It normally took a law abiding driver two and a half hours to get to Forks from Seattle University. Alice pulled into my dad's driveway just under two hours later.

I said goodbye to Alice, and promised to go shopping with her on Black Friday. The girl did not need sleep like I did, apparently. I, on the other hand, fully intended on going up to my bed and sleeping for a few more hours. It wasn't even nine in the morning yet.

I noticed Charlie's police cruiser was gone when we pulled up, and I was thankful for the peace and quiet in the house. Trudging through the house with the laundry bag I had brought home proved to be difficult. It seemed like I had brought my entire wardrobe home with me. After starting a quick load, I dragged my tired behind up the stairs to my awaiting bed.

I slept a good two hours before my mom called and woke me up. I greeted her with a sleepy "Hi."

"Are you home yet, honey? You're not still asleep in the dorm, are you? It's nearly eleven o'clock."

"Mom, I rode with Alice."

"Ah, I see. What time did she drag you away from Seattle this morning?" she asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Six a.m. I swear that girl is on a permanent caffeine high. I don't think she needs sleep like the rest of us." I smirked at how peppy Alice had been, even at six fifteen in the morning.

"I remember," my mom said. "So, are you cooking up a feast for Charlie in two days? How is he?"

"I haven't seen him yet. He was gone already when I got here this morning. Yeah though – I'm going over to the grocery story in a while. I guess I'll have to borrow his truck. I wonder if he left the keys."

"You mean that little Toyota he bought for me when we were still married?"

"Yeah, he still has it. I don't know why though. He takes the cruiser everywhere he goes." I couldn't very well tell her he kept it for sentimental reasons – that it was the last thing that he bought her, and he couldn't bare to part with it.

"Well, be careful with that thing. The clutch used to stick in third gear, you know."

"Yes mom, I remember. I learned how to drive a standard on that truck, remember? Charlie said I might need to know how to drive a stick shift one day."

"Oh yes, I remember now. Alright then, tell Charlie I said hello and Happy Thanksgiving and all of that."

"Alright mom, I'll tell him. I love you. I'll call you on Friday after the madness is over, alright?"

"What madness? Alice isn't dragging you shopping is she?"

"Unfortunately, she is. She's my ride, so what she says goes. I'll survive. Tell Phil I said hello and Happy Thanksgiving and all of that."

She laughed into the phone. "Alright honey, I'll talk to you soon."

"Alright – bye mom."

I heard the front door open downstairs. "Bella, is that you?" I could hear Charlie shuffling around downstairs, moving what sounded like his fishing gear. _Wonderful – fish for dinner_, I thought.

"Yeah dad – I'm home."

"Where's the Chevy?" he asked. It sounded like he was standing at the foot of the stairs now.

I walked out of my room and looked down the stairwell. "Hey dad. The Chevy wasn't up for the trip. No biggie, I got Alice to give me a lift. I've been home for a few hours."

"Oh, I'm sorry Bells. I didn't know when to expect you, so I went fishing with Jacob and Billy," he said.

"That's okay dad. Alice and I got here pretty early, so I laid down for a nap when we got here this morning. I just got up actually. I was going to run over to the grocery store for our Thanksgiving supplies. Mom says hi, by the way, and to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving."

He looked up at me. "You talked to Renee already?"

"Yeah, umm, she called a few minutes ago." I hated talking about mom – it was still a very sore subject, even after thirteen years. "So," I began, changing the subject. "You want to go grocery shopping with me?"

"Nah," he said. "I've gotta get ready for the big game in a couple of days though. You don't mind that Billy, Jacob, and Leah are coming over on Thursday, do you? Oh, and they kind of don't do traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Do you think we could have something different this year?"

I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "Uh, yeah sure dad. I'll make lasagna or something. What else should I get from the store?"

"Just get what we always get when the guys come over for the big games."

"So you want hot wings and beer on Thanksgiving?" I asked.

He looked up at me apologetically. "You don't mind, do you kiddo?"

He was hitting below the belt calling me kiddo. He knew I couldn't resist it when he called me that. I sighed. "Alright dad. Where are the keys to the Toyota?" I asked, making my way down the stairs.

"Oh, you're taking the Toyota?"

"Well, I can't very well take the cruiser, now can I?"

"Right," he said. He fished the keys out of his pocket. "Here you go, Bells. Don't forget…"

I cut him off. "I know dad – the clutch sticks in third gear."

"Oh right. Of course. Well, here you go," he said, handing over the keys.

I thought it would be easy to get what I needed at the store at least. I doubted I would run into any problems with the one small grocery store being out of things like hot wings, Doritos, and lasagna noodles. It was going to be an interesting holiday – to say the least.

**EPOV **

"_I owe you a coffee, remember?"_

I could still hear her voice in my ear. I could see her large eyes looking up at me from in front of my door. I could see the way she had smiled at me. I just couldn't seem to get her out of my mind. But I was glad for the distraction after practice today. It had been miserably cold, and Coach Miller had yelled for an hour straight before letting everyone go for the holiday break.

A beeping noise coming from my pocket brought me out of my thoughts. I plucked my phone out and opened up the text I'd received:

_E – Get your ass over here already. I don't want to be on the road all damn night – J _

I had dropped him off at his apartment not thirty minutes ago, after practice was over, so I chuckled at his impatience. I found it a bit odd that Jasper was ready to go home for the holiday. Normally, he hated going back to Port A – he had once called it the "armpit of Washington." I grabbed my duffel and a smaller overnight bag, and made my way down to the parking lot.

After stowing my stuff in the trunk, I hopped into my car and shut the door. When I put the key in the ignition, I smirked at it. Bella hadn't mentioned the fact that I had seen her in a towel, or that I had forgotten how to open my damn dorm room door one time during the many conversations we had over the last week.

When I pulled up in front of Jasper's apartment complex a few minutes later, I sent him a quick text telling him I'd arrived. He walked out of his apartment about thirty seconds later and threw open the back door, shoving a giant duffel inside of the backseat.

When he closed the door and slid in next to me on the passenger side, I looked back at the huge bag and then at his face. "Dude, what do you have in there? A dead body?"

He smirked at me. "Laundry, duh."

Once we had made it onto the highway and were almost out of Seattle Jasper said, "Hey man, take the next exit. There is this gas station up here that has the best tacos ever."

So I took the exit and pulled up to the hole-in-the-wall gas station. Once we were inside and looking up at the menu I turned to him. "They only have breakfast tacos. It's three thirty in the afternoon."

"So?" he asked. "Since when did you get so picky?"

I shrugged, ordered two tacos and a Dr. Pepper, and sat around waiting for Jasper's order with him for five minutes. Once it was ready, we got back into the car. I pulled back onto the highway and drove for a few minutes before I started eating.

I was watching Jasper slather hot sauce on his taco from my peripheral vision when he said, "It's too bad they only have these little packets of hot sauce."

"Nah, they're okay," I said, reaching into the little brown paper sack and pulling out a packet. I slathered what was left of my taco with its contents.

"Man how can you eat just plain egg & cheese?" Jasper asked, eyeing my taco.

"Well what the hell did you get? Why were we waiting for like five minutes on two freaking tacos?"

"Chorizo & egg, and the Texan," he replied simply – as if I was expected to know what the fuck a Texan was.

I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You can't tell me you've never gotten a Texan."

"Jasper, that was the first time I had ever been to that place. What in the hell is a Texan?"

"The best of everything my man. We got bacon, we got potato, chorizo, egg, and some jalapenos."

"Dude, you're gonna be hurtin' later."

"Nah – it can't _be_ hot enough. Last season when we were in Charleston playing the Cougars, I went down to the marketplace one afternoon and bought some hot sauce you had to sign a waiver for. It was awesome. I gave Emm some."

"Oh my god that was you?" I asked.

Jasper furrowed his brow at me. "Yeah, why?"

"You didn't hear what happened to him?

"No," he replied.

"You don't remember Emm not playing that game?" I asked.

"Yeah, he was sick," he said, turning his body towards me.

"Dude, Emm had taken ex-lax that morning before he ate. He was trying to cut weight before the finals in Omaha, remember?" Jasper closed his eyes and brought his hand up to his face. I kept on with my story. "So he was eating lunch, some plain chicken breast – South Beach style, and he pours that fucking hot sauce on it. Anyway, the ex-lax kicked in 30 minutes later and the damn hot sauce came right out of his ass. He had to alternate sitting on the crapper and sitting his ass in the bathtub for hours."

Jasper dropped his hand and opened his eyes as he said, "Oh shit."

"Literally," I replied.

His mouth formed a wry grin. "Well hot damn, that was some good shit, too."

"Yeah, apparently it was _not _a good shit."

"I meant the hot sauce, shitbrick."

"Yeah, I know what you meant," I said.

Jasper shook his head before turning and facing forward again. "I got this hot sauce one time on vacation down in Texas," he began. I looked to my right with my eyes only and smirked at him. "My aunt lives there, ok? Anyway, I bought this cool brand of hot sauce at the local grocery store. That shit made my throat close up. Ah, the memories," he said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I loved it. I mean, the hotter the better. I want it to burn. I want to snot up when I eat that crap."

I was about to take another bite of my taco, but put it down. "I'm done eating now. Thank you Jasper."

"No problem, dude."

We both fell quiet. Jasper finished his taco, and I was surprised that he didn't immediately start looking through my iPod yet. I was happy for it to be quiet and warm. Practice had sure as hell not been earlier today. The team must have been on Jasper's mind as well, because he broke our silence by asking, "So, what do you think is going to happen this season? We've got some new talent on the team this year. Don't you think so?"

"Well, I don't care much for some of the new freshman," I began, "but there are a couple of sophomores who didn't get much play last year that I'm keeping my eye on. That kid Brett Johnson should be getting some good play time on the field soon. He should be used as a good defensive replacement this year."

"Yeah, I know that kid I think. He's from Cali, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I think his senior year he led his school to two straight North Coast Section titles. I'm pretty sure he was selected as an All-American that year too."

"Damn Edward, are you two getting married?" Jasper asked.

"No you jackass. I don't play anymore remember? I had to tape up his knee last year and we got to talking. He's a good kid, cut him some slack." _Me too,_ I thought.

"Sorry man. What was his name again?"

"Brett Johnson."

"I'll keep my eye on him," he said.

I nodded, and we once again fell silent. I tried not to get frustrated about the fact that I didn't play anymore. Of course I missed it, but I actually liked what I did now. I liked talking to the guys while I worked with them. The rookies were the best – they still had a love for the game. Not like Jasper. It was if he didn't want to play anymore. Sometimes I wondered why he still was, but then again he was at Seattle U on an academic scholarship. I knew he wanted to finish school, and I had no doubt that he would graduate with honors next year – if he could pass Microeconomics.

I looked over at my best friend. He was absentmindedly drumming his fingers on the dashboard and humming to himself.

"So how are things with that girl Alice?" I asked. He turned his head towards me, but continued banging away on the dashboard with his fingers. "How did you guys meet? Was it that afternoon I left you at the Quarry?"

"Kind of," he began. "I had seen her a few times there, so I started going more often. You know, to catch a glimpse of her." I nodded to show I was keeping up. "Anyway, I was always looking at her, and I would catch her looking at me sometimes too, but we never spoke to each other. See, I wanted to, but every once in a while she'd be hanging out with that resident advisor girl from your dorm. I didn't want to interrupt."

"Oh, so you've seen Bel…"

He cut me off, saying "So anyways, she was by herself that day you met me."

I should have been pissed that he cut me off, but somehow I wasn't. At least he was animated while he was talking about Alice. He reminded me of how Bella had talked about her last Wednesday, when I had asked about her friends over coffee. _Wow, did that conversation really take place a week ago_?

I thought once again about how Bella had described her short friend to me. Her mouth would curve into a smile every time she mentioned an endearing quality about Alice. Her eyelashes would touch her cheek when she looked down, embarrassed about something or other that she remembered.

"So anyway," Jasper said, pulling me from my thoughts once again, "when I finally reached down and figured out I still had a pair, I walked over there and plopped down in front of her."

I smiled over at my friend, telling him I was still with him.

"Yeah, and we got to talking and she fucking recited some Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock to me out of the blue. Then we get to talking about our classes, and I found out that she hates Economics. Dude, she's fucking awesome."

"That's great man," I said. He sounded really happy.

"You're fucking right that's great. So, what is up with you and her friend?"

"Alice hasn't told you anything?" I asked.

"I don't think she's mentioned you," he said.

My grip tightened on the steering wheel for a second and then I remembered something. "Oh, yeah. Bella said something just the other day about how she hadn't talked to Alice in a while." She had told me at lunch on… Monday? It felt like an eternity since I had seen her face.

We came up to the exit for Forks, and Jasper slapped my arm. "Dude, look at that."

"Hmm? Oh yeah." I tried to pass it off as though I wasn't waiting to pass that exit for the last two hours or so. I didn't need something to remind me of Bella, though. I had memorized every curve of her face – every expression that flickered in her eyes.

I thought about how nervous I had been to invite her into my room. I had hoped she would come in, but I understood why she hadn't. She would never want me in the same way I wanted her. She probably thought I was strange – like I was spending too much time trying to just be around her. She probably thought I was wasting her time.

"So Alice called me when she got home yesterday," Jasper suddenly said.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager for more information.

"Yeah, they got home real early yesterday morning," Jasper said.

"Oh that's good. Glad to know they made it ok."

He saw right through me with that one. In the corner of my eye I saw him smirk. But he saved me the embarrassment of continuing the conversation by ending it all together. He turned on my iPod and as soon as the music filled the car, I was grateful that I had such a good friend. He knew I wasn't ready to talk about her just yet. There was nothing I could do about my situation right now. And I couldn't even laugh it off around him – he would see through me in an instant. At least he knew better than to push the issue. It was a damn good thing that Rose had drug Emm off with her earlier. If he had been in the car with us, he would have never dropped it.

A short while later, I pulled up into Jasper's driveway. The last hour had gone by quickly, quicker than I thought it would have with the lack of conversation. Then again, I had sped up. I was ready to just be home.

"I'll call you later, Jasper. Thanks – for everything," I said as he got out of the car.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. It'll get better."

I just nodded at him. It wasn't that things were bad right now, it was just that things between me and Bella weren't what I wanted them to be. He nodded back to me and opened the back door to get his duffel before closing both doors. I pulled out of his circular driveway and made my way home.

When I finally arrived, my mom came outside to greet me. She threw open my door before I even turned off the car. "Hey honey," she said, pulling me out.

I turned off the ignition and got out, pulling her into a hug. "Hi mom."

She stepped back, pulling my arms out to my sides. "Oh you look too thin. I hope you're still eating." I rolled my eyes when she starting moving my right arm back and forth. "How is your shoulder?" she asked.

"I'm fine mom," I said, wriggling free from her grasp. I began walking up toward the house. She shut my car door and moved to follow me inside. "And yes, I'm eating."

"So have you met any nice girls?" she asked when we had reached the front door.

I grimaced a bit. "Oh don't do that honey," my mom said.

"Do what?" I asked. I wasn't allowed to make a face when my own mother brought up my love life?

"You're biting the inside of your cheek again, dear," she said. Had I been? I licked the right side of my cheek and sure enough, there was a raw spot.

I had just walked through the door when she started in on my again. "Edward, did you bring home your laundry?"

"Yeah mom, I'll get to it later. I just want to come in and relax. It was a long trip."

"Oh I know. I hate that you drove the whole way."

"Mom, it was only like three hours. Not that big of a deal," I said.

"Well at least you had Jasper with you. I get so worried that you will fall asleep." My mother had an overactive imagination.

"Esme, leave the poor boy alone," I heard my father call. I looked over towards the living room and watched him walk towards us. "Go on upstairs son, we can catch up later."

"Oh Carlisle, but he just got here," my mom said to him.

"Exactly," he began. "Let the boy have five minutes before you start asking about Jasper and Emmett, and if they are feeding them enough at that school of theirs." I chuckled at my father.

"Oh, how is Jasper?" she asked, turning her attention back to me. "That boy weighs less than you, and he's taller! I know I don't have to worry about Emmett. I know _he_ is eating."

I just smiled at her and made my way over to the staircase. I trudged up the steps and down the hall until I reached my old room.

When I walked in, I moved immediately to the full sized bed it the middle of the room and plopped down on it. I looked around, taking in my old surroundings. I had trophies and plaques adorning most of the walls and shelving. My desk was empty. I had brought my old desktop with me to Weston my freshman year. It made me laugh to remember how big that thing was compared to how tiny my new laptop was.

I looked at a particular shelf across from my bed. It had all of the trophies from Port A High displayed neatly. But instead of thinking back on that time in my life, my thoughts drifted back to Bella, and the millions of little things about her that I couldn't get enough of. Like the way she blushed when she was nervous. Or the way she smiled, and how I thought her laugh was the greatest sound on the whole planet.

I tried to focus on a particular trophy on the shelf across from me, but all I could see, all I could think about, was Bella.

**A/N's: Ok, so I don't know about you guys, but my Edward makes my little fangirl heart explode just a bit. **

**Ainsleyhayes – your review totally rocked my world. Thanks for being such a great cheerleader for me & my fic. It is people like you that I write for.**

**Mel – That is a nice boulder.**

**Kim – you rule. "I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. **_**GOD**_** Karen, you're so stupid!"**

**Ok, see this box heeeeeerree: **


	8. Ch 8: Change Of Plans

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Eight: Change Of Plans**

**BPOV**

Because Alice wasn't around to hound me I actually woke up at a normal hour, and went down to the kitchen to get started on the lasagna. It would only take about two hours to prepare and an hour to cook, and I was happy that I wouldn't be stuck in the kitchen from six a.m. until three p.m. today. The game didn't start until two, so I knew everything would be ready before the football enthusiasts showed up.

I boiled the noodles and was just beginning to prepare the meat sauce when Charlie walked through the front door. "Hey kiddo, it smells good in here."

"Hey dad. How was work this morning? Anything interesting happen?"

"Oh you know – it's always excitement around these parts. No, but really – it smells great. What time do you think you'll have everything ready?" he asked, stepping into the kitchen.

"The lasagna should be done around one, and then I'll get the hot wings in the oven. Everything should be done at a quarter till two. What time are Jacob and Billy coming over?" I asked.

"Around twenty minutes before the game starts, I suppose. I talked to Billy earlier, and that's what he said anyway."

"Perfect timing then," I said.

Charlie lingered at the kitchen door for a few more seconds. "Well Bells, I think I'll go lay down for a bit then, unless you need me to do something."

"Nah, it's cool. I've got it covered, dad. You go and lay down," I said, turning my attention back to the stove.

"Alright then. Wake me up around one or so, if I haven't already gotten up."

"Will do," I answered.

He left and I got back to work on my meat sauce. Once I had that prepared, I made sure to fix the marinade for the hot wings and then I put them in the fridge. I layered the lasagna and put it in the oven around noon, and got to work on the salad and garlic bread that I would be serving with it.

Before I knew it, it was one o'clock – time to make sure Charlie was up. After popping the wings in the oven, I made my way out of the kitchen and was halfway up the stairs when he came around the corner and into view. "Hey kiddo. Things are starting to smell really good down there. What time is it anyway?"

"Oh, you're up already. It's about one o'clock," I said, checking my watch.

"Alright, well I guess I'll just take a quick shower and then everyone should get here. You're sure you don't need any help in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, I'm sure dad. You go on and I'll get everything set up." I turned and walked back down to the kitchen. It was cute that he had offered to help out, but I doubted that Charlie even knew how to boil water.

I set the table for the five of us and was just finishing up with the food when the doorbell rang. I walked over and was greeted by a huge hug.

"Hey Jake. I'm glad you came. I think I made enough wings to feed an army." I knew better. He'd probably down half of them before Charlie or Billy were done with one helping. I made extra because this was bound to be an exciting game – therefore Jacob's appetite would be unleashed on everyone in full force.

"Excellent," he said looking over his shoulder, releasing his hold on me. "She made extra wings guys!" He let go and came inside, followed closely by Leah and Billy.

"Hello Leah. Billy, it's nice to see you again." I said, giving them both quick hugs.

Leah stopped in the doorframe after Billy passed her, obviously making a beeline for the best spot on the sofa.

"Hey Bella, how's it going?" She wasn't one for small talk, so I knew something was up.

"It's going alright. I can't complain this semester, now that I've got the new job and all," I answered, unsure of exactly what to say. My RA skills were desperate to kick in and ask her what was up, but this was Leah we were talking about. She was even more anti-social than I was. It was a miracle that she and Jacob had started dating a few years ago. But then again, when it came to Jacob, Leah was a go-getter. She absolutely lit up when she was around him.

I was just thinking about this when a huge smile broke out on her face. She flashed a huge rock I had somehow managed to overlook. "Jake proposed last night," she whispered to me. She had obviously been dying to tell someone, but was being very hushed about it.

"Why are we whispering?" I asked her softly, smiling at her obvious joy. She was practically bouncing up and down at this point. I normally only witnessed this kind of enthusiasm from Alice.

She smiled back at me and whispered, "We kind of haven't told Billy yet. He's not going to be happy that his only son is getting married. I think he's worried that I'm going to distract Jake from school and baseball, and that he'll lose his scholarship or something. I think he forgets that I'm on an academic scholarship to UT as well."

I gave her a sympathetic nod. "I'm sure it will work out."

"Thanks Bella. You're a great friend to me and Jake. Just don't tell Charlie. He'd tell Billy in a heartbeat. Those two are worse than a pair of old women – they are constantly gossiping."

"Oh I know. They think that we don't know it too. I wouldn't dream of telling Charlie – he'd break in about twenty seconds," I said, winking at her.

She slipped her impressive ring off and put it in her purse. "This would kind of give it away – but I couldn't resist showing it off this afternoon."

"I understand. It must kill you to take it off – it's _gorgeous_."

"Thanks. I can't believe he proposed. I really can't believe he picked out such a great ring without any help." I nodded to her once again and we made our way into the kitchen.

"Alright boys – dinner is ready." The guys scrambled into the kitchen to make sure to get the three chairs facing the television – as if I would be interested in watching football. Leah did look a bit disappointed, but I knew that baseball was her sport of choice, not football.

I watched Leah and Jacob throughout the afternoon. They stole glances and mouthed the words "I love you" across the dinner table. Once the lasagna was devoured, they moved over to the couch and held hands throughout most of the game. It was really sweet to watch, but it was going to take some getting used to. Jake had been my best guy friend for as long as I could remember. I wasn't jealous of his relationship with Leah or anything, but it was somewhat depressing to see him so happy. It just made me remember how lonely I was most of the time.

It had been a fun afternoon, and I had actually enjoyed the football game, even though tensions ran high – UT vs. A&M was a sore subject. Jacob was obviously a Longhorn, but Charlie's dad was an Aggie, therefore making Charlie one by default. He had watched just about every major A&M football game that was televised for the last thirty-odd years. Unfortunately for Charlie, the Longhorns spanked the Aggies, 49 to 9. It had been hilarious to see Charlie's face fall a little bit more each time UT scored.

Charlie and I bid everyone goodnight around eight-thirty. I had already cleaned up the kitchen during the halftime show, but went in to see if anything else needed to be washed or put away. Charlie drug the trash can into the living room. He threw the last of the beer cans and paper plates away and brought it back into the kitchen just as I was cleaning off the counter one more time.

"Thanks for cooking, Bells. It was great," he said.

"No problem dad. I had a good time this afternoon. I think that everyone else did too."

"Yeah, it was good, except for the game. That wasn't the greatest."

I laughed at him. "Well, it depends on who you ask." He glared at me. "Ouch dad. You know I'm no Longhorn." His glare was replaced by a sly smile. "But I'm no Aggie, either."

"Well, you can't have it both ways I suppose. I'm off to bed – too many hot wings." He patted his bloated stomach for emphasis.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to turn in already too. Alice will probably be here in a few hours to drag me off shopping." I was not looking forward to it.

"You're going to brave the stores on Black Friday? Wow, I didn't know you had it in you Bells."

"I don't. But I'll never hear the end of it if I don't go with her." I knew better than to mess with Alice when she had her heart set on shopping.

"Goodnight kiddo. Happy Thanksgiving," he said with a smile.

"Happy Thanksgiving Dad. I'll see you tomorrow sometime, alright?"

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and made his way up the stairs. I turned off the kitchen light and made my way to my bedroom as well. Once I was dressed and ready for bed, I noticed that I had missed a text message from Alice.

_Bella – call me. There's been a slight change of plans – Love Alice_

I pushed the green call button and held the phone up to my ear, not knowing what to expect. I knew she would never cancel shopping, especially on the biggest shopping day of the year.

She answered after the first ring. "What took you so long to call me back?"

"Why? What time did you leave me that text?" I asked.

"I don't know – hours ago. What have you been doing?"

"Well, Alice – I don't know if you noticed, but its Thanksgiving today. You know – major holiday and all." She hated it when I was sarcastic. She just didn't realize she made it simply too easy.

"What is that supposed to mean, Bella?"

"We had company. I cooked. We ate until we were stuffed. We watched football. You know – Thanksgiving. Like normal people," I answered.

"Who came over? Jacob?" she asked, sounding impatient. I knew my sarcasm was getting to her already.

"Yeah, Jacob, his dad, and his girlfriend Leah were all here. We watched the UT and A&M game – it was funny," I said.

"Ew - sports. How can you stand it?"

"Aren't you dating a baseball player, Alice?" I asked.

"Well yeah. I suppose dating a baseball player has a few advantages – like uniforms. _Yummy_," she said. I could hear her smile in her voice.

I had to agree with her on this one, though I would never tell her that to her face. Edward had looked simply delicious in his baseball uniform on Halloween.

"Yeah well, some sports are actually fun to watch too, Alice. You know – the game."

"Sure Bella. Let me know when the next game is so I can set my DVR. What else did you guys do?"

"Well, Leah spilled the beans on a major secret that they're keeping from Billy." I let it sink in for a moment, but told her about the engagement before she started speculating that Leah was pregnant. She squealed into the phone, which I had luckily been prepared for.

"So I take it you are happy for them?" I asked.

"That is some major news, Bella. It's awesome that he proposed. They've been together forever. It was bound to happen sooner or later," she said.

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't peg Jake for such a romantic though. Apparently he planned the whole proposal and even picked out the ring himself. Who knew he had it in him?" I asked with a smile.

"Aw – that's so sweet. I hope I'm surprised like that one day," she said.

"Speaking of surprises – what's the change in plans?"

"Oh right," she said. "Umm, so Jasper called me earlier and asked if I would meet up with him tomorrow. He said he likes to get his Christmas shopping done on Black Friday to get the best deals on stuff. I swear it's like we were made for each other Bella."

"So then I'm off the hook? I can actually get some sleep tonight?"

"Well, not exactly." I could practically hear the wheels of her brain turning through the phone.

"What did you do, Alice?" She was never good at hiding things from me. We knew each other too well.

"Well, Jasper rode home with Edward and I kind of invited him to ride home with me. He said you guys could just switch places and Edward could give you a ride back to Seattle," she said. She sounded nervous.

_Two and a half hours alone with Edward?_ I wasn't sure whether to be nervous or excited. And I definitely didn't know how to answer Alice.

"Bella, are you still there?"

_Gulp._ "Yeah, I'm still here Alice. So, you guys already decided this. Does Edward know? Is he okay with it?"

"Yeah, it was sort of his idea. I was talking to Jasper earlier and Edward was complaining in the background of how much time we were spending on the phone today. He suggested we just ride back together and Jasper was all for it. He asked if it was cool that Edward gave you lift, and Edward said it was fine. No big deal."

_Oh god, it was Edward's idea – sort of. _

"The only thing is – Jasper and I are leaving tomorrow after we go shopping. So, how are you and Edward…" she said trailing off. "Hang on, I'm getting a text message."

I listened as she clicked around on her phone, obviously sending a reply to whoever had texted her. I was used to it. Alice always seemed to being two things at once, and that included talking to two people at once.

I thought about what she was about to say as I listened to her click her keyboard. How was I going to get to Port A to get a ride with Edward? I couldn't have my dad drop me off, that would be beyond mortifying. I wondered what day he would want to get back too. I was ready to get back tomorrow, because I would just sit around and get bored if I had to stay in Forks until Sunday.

"Bella?" she finally asked.

"Yeah Alice – I'm still here."

"That was Jasper. He said that Edward was going to drive down to Forks tomorrow morning to pick you up around nine. Is that going to be alright?"

Thank God Charlie had to work tomorrow morning. "Yes, nine will be fine. I'll just get my stuff together. I'll see you… wait, when will I see you?"

I could hear her clicking again, probably texting Jasper. "I'll make it up to you Bella. We'll do something just the two of us on Saturday night, alright?"

"Oh – can we go watch that new movie with James McAvoy?"

"I don't know. You know how I hate going to the movies. We'll do something fun though – I promise. Alright, so I'll see you Saturday?" she asked.

I sighed. I had a feeling our plans would fall through because she would want to hang out with Jasper. "Sure, uh-huh. I'll see you Saturday. Good night, Alice."

"Night Bella," she said, before hanging up.

I closed my phone and walked over to my nightstand to plug my phone into its charger for the night. Grabbing a sheet of paper from my notebook, I wrote a quick note to Charlie telling him the change in plans. I told him goodbye and that I would see him next month for Christmas. I walked out into the hall to put the note up on the bathroom door, where he was sure to find it in the morning.

When I walked back into my room, I sat on the edge of my bed and looked around. I had already washed all of the clothes I had brought home with me, and was glad for it too. I had originally planned on throwing a pair of sweat pants on for the morning shop-a-thon, but now that Edward was going to be picking me up, I was sure something I brought home to wash would work. I hadn't dressed up any of the times I had seen him before - unless you counted the Halloween costume. I had never seen him while wearing anything grungy like a pair of my ratty old sweats. The towel had been my most interesting ensemble, by far.

I smiled at the memory of Edward being so flustered that he couldn't even open his door. I went to sleep thinking about it, and ended up dreaming about embarrassing him again, if only to see that blush creep across his cheeks once more.

**A/N's: I am totally spoiling you guys, but I'm going on vacation next week. Which means, my loverlies, NO COMPLAINING while I'm gone, k? Thanks. **

**Thanks so much to AHelm for being a superstar beta on Superbowl Sunday. You rock! Little Miss Whitlock, dahling, you look mahvelous. Simply mahvelous.**

**Kim – hope you're having a good time smelling it up in New Orleans. Miss ya!**

**So, just because I'm leaving next week doesn't mean I couldn't update once or possibly twice before I left. Just so you know, I update faster the more reviews I have. I know, I know… You've heard it before. But I really do love the reviews, they make me smile! **

**So, see this box heeeeeerree: **


	9. Ch 9: If Only I Could

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Nine: If Only I Could**

**BPOV**

Edward arrived at my house at exactly nine o'clock, while I was sitting in the kitchen anxiously awaiting him. When I saw his car pull into the driveway, I made my way outside with my huge bag of clean laundry and my small overnight bag in tow. He stepped out of the car when he spotted me on the porch, and I waved hello before turning around to lock up.

I heard him walk up the sidewalk behind me. "Morning, Bella."

I turned back around to find my luggage in his hands already. "Oh, good morning Edward. I can get those if you want," I said, reaching out to grab my laundry bag from him.

"That's alright, I've got it," he said in return, turning to walk down the sidewalk.

I walked behind him and helped him load my luggage into his trunk. I noticed a big duffel bag next to a smaller suitcase. "Looks like you had the same idea as me," I said to him while he closed the trunk. We parted around the car and walked to our respective doors.

Before getting in he asked, "And what idea was that?"

I heard the doors unlock, and slid into the passenger seat. Once he had started the car I answered him. "Free laundry." I nodded my head behind me, in the direction of his trunk. "I don't know about you, but I never seem to have any quarters and the change machine in the Laundromat sucks. It never works for me. Ever."

"Oh yeah, I know what you mean. It actually accepted a dollar of mine about a month ago, and I got really excited because it never does that. Once I got over the fact that it had actually accepted it, I realized that it didn't give me any quarters. So, I always bring a huge bag of laundry home with me now, but I do wash it myself. My mom offers to wash it for me sometimes, but I know she doesn't want to. She stopped washing my stuff in junior high when I started playing baseball. She told me that my socks and undershirts stunk up the other clothes, so I started washing my own stuff."

I laughed at him while he backed out of my driveway. He turned right at the end of my street, headed for the highway.

"Forks is pretty small. When Alice started naming off streets to turn onto to get to your house yesterday, I was scared I wouldn't find it, but it was pretty simple once you got onto the main road in town," he said.

"Yeah, everything is off the main road, pretty much. It would be difficult to get lost in this town," I answered. I wouldn't let him know that I _had_ gotten lost once when I was sixteen. Or that my mother before me had as well.

When we made it to the highway, and the trees were starting to thicken on either side of the road as we pulled out of Forks, I broke the ice. We were going to be in the car for the two and a half hours – if he didn't drive like a maniac. I did not want to spend the entire time in awkward silence.

"What are your plans for the Christmas break?" I asked, silently wishing for a repeat of the current driving arrangements. The more time I got to spend with Edward, the better. Especially like this – just the two of us.

"Well, for now it looks like I'm going to get to come home. And yourself?" he asked.

"Oh, umm, yeah. I get the time off from work, if that's what you mean. I'm sure Alice and I will drive home as soon as finals are over."

He asked about my classes next. We talked about our course schedules and upcoming finals for a while. I was interested in his internship with the sports medicine department, and he in turn seemed to be just as interested in my job as an RA. When I asked what medical schools he was thinking about applying to, I was astounded with his top three choices of ivy-league schools. He sounded so confident naming them off. I didn't know how to respond, so a comfortable silence fell between us.

I began to fidget in my seat after about twenty minutes. I was okay with the silence, but I still was in a state of shock that I was riding back to Seattle with Edward. Sneaking a sideways glance at him, I saw that he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. I took a deep breath through my nose. I could smell the leather of the seats, but most of all, I could smell him. His scent was mouthwatering. He smelled like a fresh summer day. It was the scent of soap, clean laundry, and something faintly musky. I was wondering what kind of cologne he used when he cleared his throat.

"I'm thirsty. You want to stop for a drink at the next gas station?" he asked.

I swallowed hard. I realized that my throat was a bit dry, but also that I was suddenly very aware of how close he was to me. "Uh, sure. I could use a drink," I said. A drink sounded great. Maybe I wouldn't sound like such a morose tool if I had a bit of alcohol in my system.

He pulled off of the highway at the next exit and made his way to the gas station at the intersection. It was the giant truck stop named Buccee's that had been advertised on every other billboard for the last forty miles.

Edward parked the car and we made our way inside of the store, and I excused myself to go to the ladies room. I didn't have to go, but I was in desperate need of a moment to myself. Making my way to the back of the giant store, I went directly to the sinks when I walked into the restroom, glad to find it somewhat empty. I placed my hands on the counter and leaned towards my reflection in the mirror.

I looked at myself intently for about thirty seconds before mouthing the words "What is wrong with you?" I was in a daze. I obviously found Edward attractive, of course, and had loved spending time with him over the last month. We had been alone for our last several meetings, like when we got coffee last week. Why was I acting flabbergasted to be alone with him all of a sudden? I hadn't acted weird around him that morning. Now, I could feel that my body had broken out in a cold sweat. It was only in the last thirty minutes or so that I had started to feel this way, around the time he talked about his future in medical school. Being in such close proximity with him, and the delicious way he smelled certainly wasn't helping me out either. I leaned down to smell my left shoulder. My shirt smelled like him. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

_I love the way he smells, _I thought.

I opened my eyes in shock. I looked at my expression in the mirror. That was what was wrong. I didn't only love his smell. I loved him. Sometime over the last few weeks, I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen.

I blinked a few times and my arms gave out. I caught myself before I slammed face first into the mirror. I turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on my face, then looked back up into the mirror. Yup – I was definitely in love with him.

I knew I had been in the bathroom for at least a couple of minutes, so I grabbed a paper towel and dabbed at my face before heading back out into the store to find Edward. I was nervous to rejoin him now that I realized how I felt about him, but I couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. I looked around and spotted him by a display of t-shirts with the truck stop's logo on them – a cartoon picture of Buccee.

He turned around when he spotted me and I saw that he had one of the t-shirts held up to his chest. The logo had the cartoon of Buccee on the front and underneath the picture it said in bold capital letters, "Buccee – It's a Beaver!" My face broke out in a huge ear to ear smile. I started laughing at how ridiculous he looked with the shirt stretched out over his chest, and at the goofy crooked grin he was giving me.

He put the t-shirt down and walked over to me. "What?" he asked. "I like Buccee. I stop in here almost every trip back down to Seattle."

"I've never been in here before." I got nervous again when I looked up into his eyes.

"So, shall we?" He gestured towards the refrigerated drinks along the back wall.

"Uh, do you mind if I get a Dr. Pepper out of the fountain? I like the carbonation. It doesn't taste as sweet. Plus, styrofoam cups don't sweat like the bottles do."

He chewed the inside of his cheek. _Why does he do that?_

"You prefer Dr. Pepper from the fountain?" He gave me his best crooked grin.

I gulped. "Mm-hmm." I couldn't seem to find my voice.

"You're a girl after my own heart," he said, still grinning.

_If only you knew, Edward. I wish I had your heart._

I looked down at my feet and could feel my blush heat up my cheeks. I bit my lower lip, plastered a small smile on through it, and looked back up at him.

"Uh, could you get me one too, I'll be right back," he said, and chewed on his cheek once more before turning abruptly on his left heel, headed for the restroom.

I grabbed us both a fountain Dr. Pepper and took the opportunity to grab the shirt he had held up earlier. I brought them up to the counter and paid for all of it before he came out of the restroom. I had the cashier give me an extra bag, so that the t-shirt was concealed from view.

I waited for Edward by the entrance and where he met up with me a few moments later.

"Hey, I would have paid for that, you know," he said, walking up to me.

"I told you had to stop paying, remember? Consider this as a payback for that first coffee you bought me." I handed him his soda, and we walked out to where the car was parked in front of the store.

"Thanks, Bella," he said, stopping in front of the car and looking directly into my eyes.

I bit my lip before stepping off of the curb towards my door. He unlocked the car and I opened my door. "No problem, Edward," I said before sliding into my seat.

Once he pulled back onto the highway, I saw a sign saying we were only about forty miles from Seattle. For once, the sun was out, so I flipped down my visor to keep it out of my eyes.

"So," I said, breaking the silence that had fallen since we had gotten back in the car. "What type of music do you like?"

He smiled. "All kinds, really. I think this is the only car trip I've ever been on where I'm not blasting music."

"I was just thinking that." I smiled over at him. Alice and I usually cranked up the volume on the way to Forks. The only reason we had not the other morning was that it was too early in the morning for me.

"What kind of music is on your playlist?" he asked.

"Oh," I answered timidly, "you wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of one of my playlists. I have such a strange variety. It's all jumbled up."

"Really? Most of my playlists are like that, too. Jasper usually hates riding with me. I'm sure he was happy he was only subjected to my choices in music for an hour or so last Wednesday."

I looked out of the windshield and saw that we were already entering the suburbs of the city. We would be pulling up to the University in twenty minutes. I looked away from him out of my window and sighed quietly.

He must have heard me. "I hate the last leg of this trip. It feels like it drags on and on, don't you think?" he asked.

If only he knew that I was thinking how _fast_ the trip had been. I only had a few more minutes of sitting so close to him, taking in his smell. I inhaled deeply again. God, he was killing me and he wasn't even aware of it.

Turning back towards him, I said, "Yeah – just when you think you're almost there, it takes forever to get across town to the campus." _I bet he sees right through me_, I thought. _I sound so fake._

"Yeah, I know what you mean." His fingers curled around the steering wheel and I could see the whites of his knuckles. He probably was ready to be rid of me.

We spent the last few minutes of the trip in silence. It was _not_ comfortable this time. I opened my mouth, ready to say something – anything – at least five times. I closed it every time and simply remained silent.

He pulled onto campus and parked next to my truck once we reached Weston hall. I had been looking down at my lap when he shifted the car into park, but looked over at him when he still had not turned the car off several seconds later. He was chewing the inside of his cheek again. It almost looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he turned off the car and got out.

I got out too, and went to the trunk to get my things. He opened it, still silent, and handed me my luggage before getting his out and setting it down on the pavement. He shut his trunk and locked the car before shoving his keys in his pocket. When he picked up his luggage and starting walking toward the street, I sighed once again, and followed behind him.

He slung his duffel across his shoulder once we reached the double doors to hold it open for me and I whispered "Thank you" after I walked in, but I don't think he heard me.

I pushed the up button on the elevator and when it opened, I walked inside. He set his duffel bag down and pushed the button to take us both up to the fifth floor. I looked down at my feet.

"Thanks for riding back with me Bella," he said softly.

My mouth opened a bit and I took a few breaths before looking up at him and answering. "Thank you for bringing me back to school Edward."

He gave me his crooked grin and I thought I was going to melt into a giant puddle right there in the elevator. The doors opened up and he scooped his bag up off of the floor. We walked out into the hallway and stopped in front of his door.

I wasn't sure of what to do. "Umm, I'll see you later then," I said. I was a coward.

"Okay. I'll see you later Bella."

I gave him a weak smile and turned right to quickly get away from him. I tried not to run down the hall to my room, which was hard since I could feel his eyes boring a hole into my back.

Once I reached my door I saw a message written on my dry erase board.

_Bella – I hope you had a good holiday. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to follow your advice. You were right about a situation presenting itself. Thanks a million – Angela._

**A/N's: Okay, so here's that update I promised you guys. I leave tomorrow & I'm ridiculously excited about it. I've wanted to go to NYC since I was 14 years old & I'm finally going, so yay for that!**

**Kim – I'll miss you. Ha ha that you're getting home & I'm leaving. **

**AHelm is my bad ass beta & we're going out to dinner tomorrow night, no matter what her husband says. Ha!**

**Ok, so just because I am not heeeeeerree doesn't mean you can't – you know….**

**Click this box heeeeeerree…**


	10. Ch 10: I Hear Her Voice

A/N's: Alright – so I know that I haven't posted in like… forever. I hope that this extra-long chapter makes up for the fact that real life got in the way of me posting more of this story. I love that a bunch of you guys Pm'd me about this story. I'll be posting regularly from this chapter on – I promise. So without further adieu, I present RAward…

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**Chapter Ten: I hear her voice**

**EPOV**

I was folding the last of my clean clothes when my I heard the sound of footsteps upon the tile just outside of the laundry room.

"You're leaving this early?" my father asked, his voice coming from behind me. "Are we that boring?"

"Oh no, it's been nothing but fun around here for the last two days," I said as I turned to face him. He was lingering in the open doorway staring at me with a fake frown and wide puppy dog eyes. I couldn't help but smile – it was the same face he said I used to give him as a small child when I was trying to get my way.

We really hadn't had much of a chance to talk over the last few days, so I knew he was serious when he hinted that he wanted me to stay awhile longer. Yesterday afternoon, we'd celebrated Thanksgiving with a quick, early dinner before he rushed off to the hospital. My father volunteered his services in the emergency room every holiday, and each year he came home with tales of trauma caused by turkey carving gone wrong. My mother and I were used to working around his schedule, and his stories provided plenty of material for our relentless teasing.

I smirked at the ridiculous face he was still giving me, and he dropped it in favor of a smile as he walked around the corner to grab a pair of jeans from the basket on top of the washing machine.

"Well, if you'd stick around for the rest of the weekend, I'd promise to make it up to you," he said as he folded. "Why the hurry back to Seattle? You don't have to work, do you?"

"No," I said, pulling a shirt from the basket and folding it. "Both the team and I are off until Monday."

"So why are you in such a hurry to get back?" he countered.

I grabbed the last of my socks from the laundry basket and took the jeans from his hand, stuffing them both in my bag. As I zipped it up, I thought about how to answer his question. I wasn't prepared to tell him about riding back to school with Bella just yet, so I said, "Well, Jasper wanted to get back to the city so that he could finish up his Christmas shopping already. I guess he wanted to get some of the deals while it was still Black Friday and all."

"Right," he said, looking down at his watch. "But aren't the sales over by now?"

"Uh… well, he just wants to get back to the city, so we're going home. Besides, you're working all weekend anyway, right?"

He gave me a look that said, _Alright, I'll drop it_, before he said aloud, "Well, I hate to see you go so soon, but you'll be home in a few weeks for Christmas, right?"

"Of course I will," I said, and his face softened. "You know I wouldn't miss another chance at mom's turkey dinner. Then again," I said, rubbing my belly for emphasis, "I might not need to eat for a few months." Even though it had been just the three of us yesterday, mom had gone all out with the Thanksgiving feast.

I hoisted my duffle over my shoulder and nodded towards the front door. Dad led the way, walking out into the foyer and picking up my other suitcase that was waiting on the floor.

"Esme? Our son is leaving now," he called up the stairs to my mother.

"Are you leaving so soon?" she asked, walking out of her upstairs office and setting her hands on the banister.

I opened my mouth to begin yet another explanation about leaving when he cut me off, "Yes, dear. He needs to get back for work."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught his small wink.

"Oh," she said with a frown as she walked down the stairs to join us in the foyer. "Well, are you sure you don't want me to pack up some leftovers for you and Jasper for the ride home, sweetie?"

"Mom, I'm still ridiculously full."

"Well I just worry that you're not eating, dear," she said, looking up at my face.

I saw my dad roll his eyes before he opened the front door and put his hand on the small of her back, leading her outside. I followed them out to my car and mouthed the words "thank you" to him as I opened my trunk and threw my duffle in. He placed my suitcase next to it and closed the trunk as I walked over to where my mother stood.

With a sigh, she patted my cheek and said, "Call me when you get to Seattle. You know how I hate it when you're making this trip. I'm glad Jasper is riding with you. It's too far a trip to make on your own."

I felt bad for not telling my parents that I'd be riding back with Bella instead of Jasper, but my mother was already oversensitive to the fact that I was leaving so soon after I'd just arrived. If I mentioned that I was driving back with Bella, she would have a million questions about her, and I honestly didn't know how to answer them. I didn't know where Bella and I stood.

"Mom," I said, trying to explain to her that I would be just fine. "It's a three hour drive."

"Exactly, so I'm glad you won't be alone," she replied, making me feel guilty.

I sighed and turned toward my dad. "Just call her when you get there, alright?" he asked as he pulled me into a hug. I nodded and he said, "Be safe, son. See you at Christmas."

"See you at Christmas," I answered, pulling away from him with a smile.

Opening the driver side door, I turned to face my mother. She had that same weepy look she got every time I left. It was as though each time I left the house, she pictured my eighteen-year-old self, scared and unsure of going off to college in the big city.

"Bye mom," I said, stepping away from the car and giving her a hug. "I promise to call you as soon as I get back to my dorm, okay?"

She nodded but didn't look up at my face as she held on to me tightly. I gave her one last small squeeze before I turned and got into the car, shutting the door and starting the ignition.

As I pulled out of the driveway I saw my dad pull my mom towards him and place his arm around her shoulders. I waved to both of them out of my window, and as I pulled up to the stop sign at the end of the block, I received a text from Jasper:

_E – Hope u r rdy bc Alice told Bella you'd pick her up 9. Turn rt on Harbinger's Ln, not left – J _

Yesterday evening Jasper had dropped by to give me the hand-drawn map and directions that Alice had made for me. After thirty minutes on the highway, I took the small exit to Forks and was immediately lost on a back road that led me further away from Bella's street rather than towards it. I ran my fingers through my hair, completely frustrated

I'd always thought of Forks as a small town where everything was located right off of the highway, but I was beginning to feel that investing in a GPS system would be the smartest way to go. Thankfully, I recognized a street sign from the complicated map Alice had drawn me and soon found myself on Harbinger's Lane.

The large white house that Alice had described in detail did not have a street number visibly marked, so I was unsure if I had the right address as I pulled into the driveway. When the front door opened and Bella stepped out onto the porch a moment later, I glanced down at the clock and realized that luck must have been on my side. Not only was I at the right house, but I was on time as well.

Bella set two bags down on her porch and was locking the front door as I shifted into park and got out of the car. We greeted each other timidly as I walked up the stairs and grabbed her luggage. She tried to take the smaller bag from me, but I simply carried them down to the car, and she followed after me.

Once I opened the trunk, Bella helped me situate her bags around my own, and as we walked to our respective doors and got in the car, she commented on how we'd both brought our laundry home. As I started the car and backed out of her driveway, I told her how my mother had stopped doing my laundry when I'd starting playing baseball in junior high. She laughed at my story, and I relaxed into my seat at the sound.

As I turned right at the end of her street and headed for the highway, I couldn't help but wonder why I'd been so tense in the first place. After all, I had spent plenty of time with Bella over the last month.

Had it really only been one month?

It seemed like I'd known Bella, or been… _friends_ with her longer than that.

_Friends…_

When I heard the word in my head, it sounded strange and it only added to the ever-growing list of questions that I was constantly asking myself about Bella.

I glanced over at her, unsure of what I was going to say to break the ice, when she surprised me by asking about my plans for Christmas break. Our conversation flowed easily from that point, and I all but forgot about my earlier musings. We were soon laughing about previous teachers that we had either loved or hated, and Bella and I quickly discovered we both had Mrs. Brahms as a professor when we were freshmen.

I couldn't help but bring up her thick British accent as we reminisced about the class. "So, Bella-er, what did you think of her teaching methods?" I asked with a teasing tone. Mrs. Brahms tended to add an _R_ sound to the end of certain names, especially those that ended with an _A_.

Bella started laughing and said, "Oh yeah, I had forgotten about that!"

I smirked, knowing that I could never forget about Mrs. Brahms and how she had given me an entirely new name on the very first day of school. "You didn't know that my real name was Edward-er?" I asked, looking at Bella. "I just shortened it to Edward because not everyone could pronounce it correctly."

Bella's face broke out into a smile as she looked at me and said, "I didn't realize that you could add an _R _to the end of Edward."

"Well, Mrs. Brahms made it sound nice at least," I answered, thinking back on my favorite class of that very first semester of college.

Bella smiled once more, and it soon grew quiet between us. Instead of bringing up a new topic, I chose to focus on what I could see of her in my peripheral vision. I was just starting to let my eye travel down the curve of her neck when Bella faced her window.

As she turned, her hair whipped around her face to settle on her shoulder. A half second later, her scent blew in my direction, and I nearly let out an audible groan. She smelled like the air just after it rained. It was intoxicating.

_How had I not noticed that before?_

I glanced at her hair and followed it down to the curve of her shoulder. She molded into the seat, and I couldn't help but notice how right it felt to have her sitting next to me.

Bella shifted in her seat and rested part of her elbow and forearm along the center console, and I looked at her small hand. I had the overwhelming urge to remove my hand from the steering wheel and envelop hers within my own.

I realized I was gnawing the inside of my cheek when I spotted the exit to my favorite rest stop between Port Angeles and Seattle. I figured Bella would be happy to stretch her legs for a few minutes, and I most certainly needed to get out of the car but for an entirely different reason.

I cleared my throat and said, "I'm thirsty. You want to stop for a drink at the next gas station?"

"Uh, sure. I could use a drink," she said from my right. Her voice sounded funny, almost as if she was just as nervous as I seemed to be.

I pulled off of the highway and turned into Buccee's, my favorite truck stop. I didn't know why, but the whole place made me happy, and anything routine right now seemed like the best idea, considering nothing about this trip seemed ordinary.

As soon as we walked inside, Bella excused herself to go the ladies' room. I milled around the store for a moment, looking around at the dozens of people doing the same thing I was. I looked over the million kinds of beef jerky offered by the store and then made my way over to a large display of t-shirts and caps bearing the Buccee Beaver logo.

An older woman bumped into me by accident, intent on getting her granddaughter to the restroom. She quickly apologized, and I smiled, saying that it wasn't a problem. As soon as she passed by me, the smell of her perfume blew in my direction and overwhelmed my throat and I started coughing. I had to move to the other side of the table of merchandise to step out of the lingering scent of perfumed air, and I couldn't help but think about the soft, natural way Bella smelled.

Buccee's face was peeking out on one of the t-shirts on display, so I held it up to investigate the slogan that accompanied it. It read, "Buccee – It's a Beaver!"

I chuckled a bit to myself, and from the bulbous mirror hanging from the ceiling, I caught sight of Bella approaching from behind me. I flipped the t-shirt around with the logo facing out and draped it across my chest before I turned to face her.

Her face immediately lit up when she saw me, and she started laughing at the message on the shirt. Her smile was absolutely gorgeous. It reminded me of how beautiful she looked the first time I'd seen her at the beginning of the semester. I'd held open the door for her at the Bursar's office that afternoon, and even though her arms were full of papers and she was about to drop half of them, she'd smiled at me.

I was captivated by her then, and I certainly was now. Her smile was wide and sincere, and it lit her beautiful face up from the inside out. I could only hope that I would get the opportunity to see it there more often.

I put the shirt down and walked forward to meet up with Bella. She smirked at my expression, so I asked, "What? I like Buccee's. I stop in here almost every trip back down to Seattle."

"I've never been in here before," she said with a nervous smile. She looked up into my eyes, and I swallowed thickly.

_Drink… I said something about a drink, didn't I?_

"So shall we?" I asked, gesturing toward the wall of refrigerated drinks.

"Uh, do you mind if I get a Dr. Pepper out of the fountain? I like the carbonation. It doesn't taste as sweet. Plus, styrofoam cups don't sweat like the bottles do."

I looked down and met her eyes with my own. "You prefer Dr. Pepper from the fountain?"

I watched in wonder as she gulped and mumbled, "Mm-hmm."

"You're a girl after my own heart," I replied, grinning down at her like a fool.

_I love you._

_Holy fuck. _

She looked down at the ground, and I saw her cheeks flush. A small smile appeared on her lips before she looked back up at me. Dear God, she was so beautiful, and I… was just gaping at her like an idiot.

"Uh, could you get me one too? I'll be right back," I said, turning away from her and heading towards the bathroom. I could feel my teeth cutting into my cheek, so I immediately relaxed my jaw.

I turned the corner of the large hallway that separated the men's and women's restrooms and pushed open the door to the men's, stepping inside and stopping by the hand dryers. Leaning against the wall, I brought my hands up to run through my hair.

_I love her._

An older man walked out of the last stall and made his way over to the sinks to wash his hands. He glanced toward me as he shook off the excess water and gave me a funny look, as if I was blocking the entire row of hand dryers. He chose the dryer closest to him and quickly left, leaving me alone once again. I closed my eyes and threw my head against the wall.

_I love Bella Swan. _

I'd never loved anyone before, but I knew without a doubt that I was definitely _in_ love with her. I had to be. I thought about Bella first thing in the morning when I woke up; she was my final thought before I went to bed at night. And every time I parted ways with her, I couldn't wait to see her again.

With a sigh, I pushed off of the wall just as another man walked around the corner into the bathroom. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans and walked back out into the store and found Bella standing by the exit, two drinks in hand. As I approached her, I was nervous that she would see right through me, so I joked about her paying for our sodas. She crinkled her nose in the cutest way and complained about how I'd paid for every little thing since we'd met.

I smiled at her as we walked outside, but before we split to walk to either side of the car, I turned to look down at her delicate face. I was internally battling on whether or not to declare myself to her, and I was chewing on my cheek for the second time in the last ten minutes. I decided that right now was simply not the time to tell her how I felt, so I looked into her eyes and quietly thanked her for my drink.

She bit her lip as she looked up at me, and my breath caught in my throat. I was captivated by the look in her eyes, and I nearly convinced myself to just tell her what I was feeling. Before I had the chance to say a word, she stepped off of the curb toward her door.

I shoved my hand into my pocket to retrieve my keys, and as I walked toward my door, I unlocked the car. As I slid into my seat, Bella opened her own door and quietly said, "No problem, Edward," before sitting down next to me once more.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek once more before starting the car and backing out of my parking space. Hearing her voice speak my name was indescribable. If I could hear her say it a thousand times, I doubted it would be enough.

I didn't think I could ever tire of her sweet, soft voice, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to speak to her. An uncomfortable silence fell between us as I pulled back onto the highway, and I couldn't help but notice that the lighthearted laughter from the first half of the trip was gone.

When I began to recognize certain exits and billboards as we entered the outskirts of the city, I took one of my final chances and snuck a glance in her direction. Bella turned towards her window once more, and the soft, clean smell of her hair wafted over toward me. I nearly closed my eyes to savor the scent before I realized I was supposed to be watching the road.

Though I knew the tension between us would ease as soon as we left the confines of the car, I didn't want to part from her company so soon. I cleared my throat, trying to ease the uncomfortable silence between us and said, "I hate this last leg of the trip."

I was grasping at straws, trying to get her to speak to me once more. "It feels like it drags on and on, don't you think?" I asked, instantly regretting my choice of words.

I opened my mouth, intent on explaining what I'd really meant when I heard her soft voice from my right say, "Yeah – just when you think you're almost there, it takes forever to get across town to the campus."

Her answer was simple, yet powerful. She smoothed over the awkwardness my words had left not only a moment before.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said softly, looking over at her.

Her words spoke to me in other ways than I think she originally intended for them to. Just as I'd realized I was in love with her, I feared it would take forever for me to summon the courage to tell her how I really felt. And forever was simply too long a time to wait.

So many things were running through my mind, and I could feel the blood drain from my hands because I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly. I couldn't seem to break the silence that fell between us once more without telling her how I truly felt, and I was just not ready to do that yet.

One thing that I simply couldn't stop myself from doing was stealing several glances at Bella from the corner of my eye. She looked dejected, and I longed to know what was on her mind. I nearly said "penny for your thoughts" a half a dozen times, but seeing as how I couldn't organize my own, I remained silent.

We were back at Weston Hall all too soon, and as I parked in my usual spot next to Bella's truck, I couldn't help but think how strange it was that I'd been parking next to her all semester. I'd been so close to her in so many ways, not only parking next to her, but living just down the hall from her this whole time. Now here we were, a foot apart from each other, and I didn't know what to say or do next.

I was tense in my seat and realized I had yet to speak or even turn off the car. Bella had not moved a muscle either. I felt a twinge of pain in my cheek and realized I was once again gnawing away on it, so I shifted into park and looked down into my lap for several seconds before turning the ignition off.

When I got out of the car, I walked around to the trunk and opened it up without saying a word. I knew that if I looked into Bella's big brown eyes, she would look up at me, and I would not be able to help myself. Every thought tumbling around in my head would come spilling out, and I just didn't feel that the student parking lot was the appropriate place to declare myself to her. So I remained silent as I opened the trunk, and handed Bella her luggage before retrieving my own. After I closed the trunk, I locked the car and shoved my keys in my pocket.

I led the way across the street, and I could swear I heard Bella sigh behind me as she followed. When we were nearing the double doors to Weston Hall, I slung my duffle over my left shoulder as I opened the door for her. As she brushed past me, she lightly touched my arm with her own. I hadn't felt her skin on mine since I'd caught her that night out by the bench. It felt amazing to have her in my arms then, and I could only imagine what it would feel like to hold her now that I knew without a doubt that I was in love with her.

Bella walked up to the elevator, and when she pushed the call button, the doors immediately opened, and I followed her inside of the small car. I set my luggage down and reluctantly pressed the button for the fifth floor, knowing it was where we would part.

In the small space, her scent enveloped me. She adjusted the strap of her small bag, rolling her shoulder and freeing her hair from underneath it, and a wave of her lovely smell perfumed the air around us. I shut my eyes and knew that Bella was completely unaware of the effect she was having on me.

A million thoughts were tumbling around inside of my head. I longed to tell her one of them – any of them. That I loved the way she smelled. That I loved it when she smiled at me. That I wanted to make her smile every day for the rest of my life. That I was desperately in love with her.

All of it.

Any of it.

Instead, I looked over at her and simply said, "Thanks for riding back with me, Bella."

She looked up at me shyly and said, "Thank you for bringing me back to school, Edward."

I smiled at her as the elevator doors opened, revealing the fifth floor and my room door. I reached down to pick up my bag off of the floor as she walked out into the hallway, stopping in front of my door.

"Umm, I'll see you later then," she said, fidgeting with the bag hanging off of her shoulder.

She turned slightly towards her room, so I said, "Okay. I'll see you later, Bella."

With a small smile on her face, she turned on her heel and walked the length of the hall, leaving me standing in front of my door. Once Bella reached her room, she looked thoughtfully at the message board hanging there before unlocking her door and walking through.

She didn't once turn to face me, so I fished my keys from my pocket. They felt as though they were made of lead, but somehow I managed to unlock and open my door. I set my bags down and walked over to my nightstand, dropping my keys and cell phone there before I sat down on the edge of my bed.

I felt like a fool. How could I not have known that I was in love with her until now? I was constantly on the lookout for her – waiting for her in the lobby or hoping to catch her in the Quarry.

I remembered the first time we had coffee, and how interesting I'd found her. Every time I'd been around her since then, I found myself wanting to know everything about her. I realized right then that Bella was constantly in my thoughts, and for good reason. She was fascinating. She was charming, and she captivated me completely. Bella was simply irresistible, and I was in love with her.

I pushed up off of my bed and grabbed my keys. This was it. I would go to her now. It would kill me if I couldn't at least tell her what I was feeling. I couldn't stand not knowing how she felt in return. There was nothing in the world that I wanted more than to just be with Bella.

The only thing that mattered anymore was Bella.

I was just about to shove my cell phone in my pocket when it began to ring. My mother's worried face came to mind, and I felt bad for not calling her yet. When I glanced down at my caller ID and found that it was Emmett that was calling I was surprised to say the least.

I flipped my phone open and heard Emmett say, "Edward?"

"Yeah man, it's me. What's up?"

"Uh, hey. Do you have a minute?" he asked timidly.

I knew that tone, and I didn't like where this conversation was likely headed.

I exhaled heavily into the receiver and said, "Sure, I guess I've got a minute. What's going on?"

He didn't respond. Emmett was rarely at a loss for words. I knew something was up, so I said, "Spill it."

"Shit. I'm sorry, man."

"What did you do, Emmett?" I asked, starting to panic that something was truly wrong. It wouldn't be the first time Emmett had called me after getting into trouble for some idiotic prank gone awry.

"I didn't do anything. I swear," he said defensively.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the auction right now, Emmett?" I asked him, glancing at the clock.

The Seattle Redhawks put on an annual auction to benefit the local Little League Association, and this year's auction just happened to be this afternoon. I knew that Emmett and Jasper were expected to be in attendance, being star players of the team.

"Yeah, I'm over at the field right now. And guess what? Ichiro Suzuki has offered to attend a practice and game of one of the teams for one of the silent auction items."

"Shit, really?" I asked. Ichiro Suzuki was an outfielder for the Seattle Mariners, and through the 2008 season, he held the second highest career batting average among active players. Emmett, an outfielder himself, had idolized Ichiro for the last seven years.

"That's fucking awesome," I said. "Who pulled that one off?"

"I have my ways," he said, and I could hear his not-so-subtle attempt to hide his laugh. I had a sneaking suspicion he was talking about Rosalie, kind of like he always did.

Emmett must have gathered that I remembered that this was not a bullshit type of call, because he said, "So Jasper is a no-show, and he kind of said he was going to be bringing over some signed items he'd gotten from a few of the other Mariners. I think he got a few players to sign equipment and baseball cards, man."

I nearly interrupted him and asked the stupid question – "Have you heard from him?"

"Jasper told me yesterday that he had the stuff stashed in the locker room. I kind of, umm… Shit man, can you go get it for me?"

"Oh come on, Emmett. Really?" I asked. I had shit I really needed to do.

"Yeah, man," he said. "Look, I can't leave the auction. Rose kind of signed me up to pose for pictures with some of the kids, and the bidding has already started on the cards, bats, and gloves that I've signed. I want to see who's bidding on my stuff."

I didn't say anything for a moment, and I could hear Emmett's steady breath through the receiver.

"Come on, Edward. We can't just duplicate the stuff that the Mariners signed. What do you say?"

"Well you kind of haven't given me a choice, Em."

"I'll see you at the practice field in fifteen, then?" he asked.

"Fifteen minutes?"

"What? I know you. You're sitting your ass in your room right now. Now get moving," he said. I hated that he knew me so well.

"Fine, I'll meet you there in fifteen."

I was going to kill Emmett. This was not what I had planned for the afternoon.

My phone beeped with a text, and I flipped it open, seeing that it was from Jasper:

_E – Hey can u swing by the locker room n take the Mariners stuff to the practice field? Thx buddy – J _

I quickly typed in my reply:

_J – Yeah, thanks for this you douche – E_

Not five seconds later I got his answer:

_E - Sure thing. Glad to be of assistance – J _

I _was_ going to kill Emmett, but not before I killed Jasper.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and turned the lock on my door, shutting it behind me. I looked up the hall and found it empty. When I saw Bella's closed door, I wished that I could go to her like I wanted to, but I knew that getting the autographed equipment and baseball cards to the auction was important to the team.

I turned towards the elevators, and as I pushed the down button, the doors opened right up. When the doors opened up to the lobby, I scanned the common area hoping to find Bella there. She wasn't.

Once I got in the car, I mentally cursed Emmett and Jasper again. Bella's scent lingered in the small space, and when I turned the car on, her smell flowed from the air conditioning vents.

I closed my eyes for a moment before shifting into reverse and making my way to the locker room – and further away from Bella. On the way, I placed a quick call to my parents, letting them know that I'd made it home alright. Thankfully, my dad answered the phone so I wasn't bombarded with questions, and the conversation was over by the time I arrived.

The items that Jasper had gotten from the Mariners were in his locker, so I found them quickly. I brought them out to my car and placed them in the back seat and then made my way over to the practice field where the auction was being held, thinking of Bella the entire time.

I was not looking forward to spending the evening with Emmett, but it would surely be better than the torture I was putting myself through. I kept imagining Bella laughing at me and slamming her door in my face as I told her that I was in love with her.

I found a parking spot near the back of the full lot and gathered the items from my back seat. When I walked up to the field, I spotted Emmett right away. He was standing by one of the long tables set up for the silent auction. They were lined up side-by-side along the foul line between home and first base. Several people milled about looking at the items up for bid, and they all turned to see what I was bringing.

Emmett saw that I had finally arrived and walked to meet me, directing me toward a table set up in the middle. "Hey man," he said as I approached him. "Thanks for coming, dude. We already have a sheet set up for the bidding on this stuff, so let's bring it over there so the fundraising people can write up a description."

I followed him over to the table he pointed at and laid the items down on the table.

"Oh are these the items that the Mariner players donated?" a woman sitting behind the table asked.

"Yes ma'am," Emmett answered, and I nodded.

"Wonderful," she said, quickly separating the memorabilia and writing notes on a small sheet of paper in front of her.

People started making their way over to the new items I'd brought, so Emmett grabbed me by the shoulder and led me away from the crowd that was forming.

"Dude, you just saved my ass. Do you want to go get a hot dog or something?" he asked.

I realized that I hadn't eaten all day. "Yeah, a hot dog sounds good actually," I said, and we made our way over to the concession stand.

Once we were in line, Emmett turned to me and said, "I thought you were riding back to town with Jasper this morning. What's up with that?"

"Oh, right. Well, he rode back with Alice. I think they're getting pretty serious," I said, trying to direct his questioning away from me.

"Yeah, I kind of figured as much. She's always around when I see Jasper," he said. He wagged his eyebrows at me and asked, "What about you and that girl Bella?"

I sighed and opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off when his phone beeped, and he pulled it out of his pocket. He touched the screen and smirked.

"Damn that woman. She's always fucking asking where I am," he said with a sly smile. I knew he secretly loved that Rose kept tabs on him. I would never understand those two.

"Sorry dude, I gotta go," he said, turning on his heel and leaving me in line.

I reached into my pocket to get my keys, and a few coins fell to the ground as I pulled them out. When I squatted down to retrieve them, I came face to face with a petite brunette that was handing me a dollar bill that I'd apparently dropped.

"Uh, thanks," I said lamely as I stood back up.

"It's Edward, right?" she asked, standing as well.

"Yeah," I said, wondering if I was supposed to know this girl. She was looking at me with the most curious expression upon her face, so I asked, "Have we met?"

"Not exactly," she said as I took the dollar bill from her hand and shoved it along with the few coins I'd dropped back into my pocket.

"I'm Angela, by the way," she said as she held out her hand. I extended my own, and as we shook hands she said, "We've never met, but I was kind of hoping I would run into you here."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "And why is that?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Well we both live in Weston. You're on the fifth floor, right?"

"Is Bella your RA?" I asked, my thoughts immediately drawn to her.

"Yeah, Bella is the greatest. She's always there to help us out," she said.

Of course Bella would be good at her job. I was sure she'd even helped out this girl a time or two. My Bella would be wonderful at anything she did – I was sure of it.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts of Bella to find the small brunette looking up at me expectantly. I swung my keys in my hand, unsure of what to say. I decided it would be best to just go. I had things I wanted – no, that I _needed_ to do.

"So I'll uh, see you later then, Andrea," I said.

"It's Angela," she said softly, looking down at her feet.

"Sorry?" I asked. I hadn't really caught what she'd said.

"My name – it's Angela," she said, looking back up at me.

"Oh God, I'm sorry about that. I've, uh, I've gotta go," I said, turning away from her.

I heard a meek "bye" from behind me, and I felt bad for just leaving her standing there after I'd messed up her name. I just couldn't seem to concentrate on anything she'd said after Bella popped into my head. It seemed as though I couldn't concentrate on anything lately. All I could see was Bella.

I drove back to Weston, and on the ride up to the fifth floor, I psyched myself out once again. What if she rejected me? This wouldn't be like any other girl rejecting me. I'd never been in love before. I couldn't seem to get her out of my mind, even before I knew I was in love with her. What would it be like if she didn't want me? Would I dwell on her forever?

As the door opened, I couldn't bring myself to go to her. I just… couldn't. I couldn't do anything right.

Over the next two weeks, things only got worse. I couldn't concentrate on my own finals, and I'd forgotten that I was supposed to tutor Jasper for his Microeconomics exam.

"So the whole reason utopias don't need economics is because they assume away the problem of scarcity," I said to him as we sat in the Quarry on Saturday afternoon, going over his notes. I was trying desperately to keep Jasper on topic. He kept telling me stories about Alice, and I just couldn't get him to listen to me. I figured I'd take a different approach.

"Economists will tell you that it is also the reason they don't work in the real world. Some of them take the _Star Trek_ approach and take away scarcity by assuming abundance," I finished.

"Dude – did you just say _Star Trek_?" he asked.

"Yeah, dumbass – pay attention. Think about it this way. This approach sees a technological society that is so advanced that all of the needs and wants will be met. In _Star Trek_, this is done with the replicator. If you want a cup of coffee," I said, pointing to his empty cup, "you just go up to the replicator, and it magically appears. Because everything is abundantly available, there's no need to buy or sell. This is where Marxism comes in. Karl Marx was utopian, and he did assume abundance."

He just smirked at me and said something stupid about _Star Trek_ again. I pushed his books back toward him just as Emmett and Rose walked up.

"What's this all about?" Emmett asked as he sat down next to Jasper, shoving his notes out of the way.

"Well, I know that you don't care, but some of us actually have finals next week," I said as Rose sat down on his lap.

"What – like Mr. Perfect-Know-It-All-Edward isn't prepared for his finals?" Rosalie asked, batting her eyelashes at me.

"He's never prepared, baby," Emmett said, pulling Rose's hair away from her neck. "But you know I am."

Rose giggled as Emmett kissed her behind her ear, and I couldn't help but think about my two best friends.

How was it that both of them were suddenly in love?

Sure, Emmett and Rose were gross most of the time, but as I looked back up at them and saw Em whisper in her ear, I knew they were in love.

I looked across the table at Jasper to find his phone in his hand and a shit-eating grin on his face. I knew that he was talking to Alice, and the look on his face meant only one thing – he was in love with her.

I stood up and mumbled my goodbyes before shoving my hands in my pockets and heading towards Weston Hall. I was halfway across campus when the small brunette from the auction came out of the building just in front of me.

"Hey you," she said, meeting me on the sidewalk. "Are you heading back to the dorms?"

"Uh yeah," I said. "How are you… Angela?" I questioned.

Her face lit up as she nodded.

We talked about how the auction went as we made our way across campus, and she smiled throughout most of our conversation. Unfortunately, her smiles only served as a reminder that I hadn't seen Bella's smile in over two weeks.

When we walked through the double doors of Weston Hall a few minutes later, I turned towards the elevator when Angela stopped me.

"Umm Edward?" she asked. "Do you, uh, want to eat dinner with me?" she asked.

I looked toward the cafeteria and shrugged. "I suppose I could eat," I said.

As she smiled and turned towards the cafeteria, I couldn't bring myself to join her. "Umm, Angela?" I asked, stopping her. "You know what? I'm not very hungry. Besides, I wouldn't be very good company. Maybe some other time?" I asked, looking down at her. I hated to come across as a prick; she seemed like a nice girl.

She smiled up at me and said, "That sounds great Edward."

I gave her a half-hearted smile and turned towards the elevator. She surprised me by tagging along. We walked through the elevator doors together and rode up to the fifth floor in silence.

When the doors opened up, I walked out, and she followed. I fished my keys from my pocket and turned towards Angela, who was apparently waiting for me before walking towards her room.

I fumbled with my keys and said, "Bye then." I felt my car remote in my hand and smiled at the memory of me getting busted by Bella trying to open my dorm room door with it.

Angela smiled in return and said, "Bye," before turning down the hall.

The weekend passed quickly as I studied for my upcoming finals, and the exams took up all of my free time throughout the following week. On Friday afternoon, I'd finished with my last test, and I was supposed to meet up with Jasper. I headed to Six Cups and ordered a small black coffee before sitting down to wait for him. A few minutes later my phone rang, and I answered to find Emmett on the line.

"Have you told her yet?" he asked.

I sighed into the receiver. "How did you know?"

"Dude, this is me… Emmett."

I shook my head. I should have known better than to think that I could hide something like this from my best friend.

"Just tell her," he said.

"I'm going to, man," I told him.

"Good. I'm tired of seeing you mope during practice. Tell Jasper he owes me twenty bucks, will you?"

"For this? You shitheads were betting on me?" I asked.

"No, it's not like that. I've been buying that little shit coffee all week. That fucker owes me," he said before hanging up.

I laughed and closed my phone just as Jasper sat down across from me.

"So how'd you do?" I asked him as he stole my cup.

I let him take a sip and smirked as he made a face.

"What the fuck is this?" he asked.

"It's coffee dipshit. How did your test go?"

"That is not coffee. That is tar," he said, scraping his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

I exhaled through my nose and decided he had exactly twenty seconds to tell me about his test before I walked off.

"Well," he began, "It went way better than last semester. I actually knew what the fuck some of the questions were talking about. I kept picturing Captain Jean-Luc Picard for some reason though," he said with a smirk.

"Picard?" I asked. "What about Captain Kirk?" I asked.

"Eh, I always though Picard was the man," he said. "So thanks for that."

I was relieved that I was able to at least help the fucktard out, even though he'd been a shitty friend lately. "No problem, man."

"So we need to celebrate. I'm supposed to meet up with Alice late tonight to take her home," he said, winking at me. "But maybe we could go out before that?" he asked.

"Where are you supposed to pick Alice up from?" I asked.

"Shenanigan's," he said. "You know the place?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it," I answered. I'd never been there before. It was a local college bar and not exactly my style, but I knew Jasper liked to go there every once in a while.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to pick up Alice at like midnight, I think. Maybe we could go out for a pizza and beer before I go get her?" he asked.

I nodded in agreement. If Alice was going to be there, with any luck Bella would be there as well.

I needed to see her.

I needed to tell her.

I needed her.

**A/N's: Well there it is. I hope you liked it. Okay – I hope you loved it. And yes, I really mean it – I will be updating regularly. I love this story and I want to share it with you guys. **

**Kim – I love you. Plain & simple. **

**Jen – you fucking rock for betaing this & encouraging me. I seriously would have been stuck fifty million times on this chapter if it wasn't for you. So here it is – on a silver platter – with your name on it. Because you're mah woman, woman. *bats eyelashes***

**Ang & Mel – MoWminicon – here I come. We're gonna have a pee-in-your-pants-helluva good time. I just know it. **

**Review? Please?**


	11. Ch 11: I Thought You Died Alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**I Thought You Died Alone**

**BPOV**

_Bella – I hope you had a good holiday. I just wanted to let you know that I am going to follow your advice. You were right about a situation presenting itself. _

_Thanks a million – _

_Angela_

Despite the way I felt as I walked down the hall, I smiled at Angela's message. But, as soon as I stepped into my room and set my bags on the floor I remembered…

I was in love with Edward Cullen, and he was most definitely _not_ in love with me. I sighed and tried to occupy myself with mundane tasks so that my mind wasn't constantly occupied with thoughts of him.

I put away my clean clothes. I listened to my iPod. I checked my e-mail. I talked to Charlie. Heck, I even called Renee to keep my thoughts from straying toward him.

It didn't work.

Around eight o'clock, when I couldn't stand the smell of myself anymore and realized that since I'd been nursing my giant Dr. Pepper all day I desperately had to pee, I left the confines of my room. I snuck down to the bathroom and took a quick shower, and even though I remembered to bring my sweats this time, I still checked the hallway to make sure it was empty before walking back to my room.

It was just as lonely as I had left it, so I brushed out my hair and gave up on the day. When I woke up on Saturday morning, I thought things would be better. Unfortunately, they were the same. I was just as lonely, and when Alice called to cancel our plans at three o'clock, I wasn't surprised in the least.

The next three weeks passed by in a blur. I went to class. I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I talked to Renee and Charlie, and gave my end of semester spiel to the girls on my floor. Everyone was staying put for the spring semester, and I was grateful that I wouldn't have too much work to deal with over the break.

When I found out that I could make extra money for working during the holiday, I decided to stay. I needed the money, so I called Charlie and told him I wouldn't be coming home after all. He had Billy and Jacob to entertain him, so I wasn't too worried. Renee, however, threw a fit. I calmed her down by telling her it would be easier to keep my job during my senior year if I stayed on for the holiday. She and Phil were in no position to help out with tuition, so she agreed.

Finals came and went, and before I knew it, it was Friday the nineteenth, the last day of school for all official purposes.

I was sitting on my bed listening to depressing music and thinking about how I had not seen Edward for twenty two days. When I looked down at the pile of wrapped presents I had in the corner of my room, I closed my eyes and sighed. I had gifts for Alice, Renee, Phil, and Charlie. On top of them all sat the gag gift I had bought on impulse at Buccee's for Edward.

_I should just open it and keep it._

My head snapped up at the knock on my open door. "We're going out," Alice said. I groaned in protest when I saw the bags she was carrying in her hands and threw myself across the bed, covering my face with my arm.

As she stood over me she said, "Oh come on. I know you don't have anything cute to wear. Besides, I haven't seen you in ages and it's the last night of the semester." I peeked up at her and pouted.

"You're gonna ditch me for your boyfriend," I said.

"I would never!" she protested. "We need a girl's night out, and he's not invited. Besides, finals are over and we need to celebrate." She smiled down at me before pulling me up off of the bed.

Couldn't she see that she was interrupting a truly spectacular mope?

"Alice, where are we going?" I asked. "I don't _want_ to go anywhere."

"I hate to ruin your pity party," she began, "but we've got some serious drinking to do tonight."

I would have normally protested, but a few drinks actually sounded good. I raised an eyebrow and asked, "Where'd you have in mind?"

She smirked and said, "Shenanigan's is the only place I want to go tonight."

I couldn't blame her. It was the only college bar that catered to ages twenty-one and up, and I was not in the mood to go to a place where eighteen-year-olds were attempting to sneak alcohol into the bathroom.

I nodded my head in agreement. "Shenanigan's it is then. But what are you insisting that I wear? I am _not_ wearing a dress. It's Washington. It's December. It's cold."

"No dresses, Bella. Geez – don't you think I know you by now? But, it's not going to be cold inside of the bar," she said with an evil smile upon her lips.

As Alice opened the bag she'd set on the bed and pulled out a pair of jeans, I cocked my head to the side in surprise. "Hmm," I said, narrowing my eyes at her. "I just knew that when you said no dresses you were going to pull out a skirt from your bag of tricks."

"Oh ye of little faith," she said, taking out a pair of black ballet slippers and a plain black tank top. I was grateful for the simplicity of the clothes. I was in no mood to stand out tonight.

The cut of the top she'd brought me was very interesting. It had a low square neck that showed a bit – well – a lot more cleavage than I had ever shown before, but I didn't feel too overly exposed once I put it on.

"What are you wearing then?" I asked as I inspected myself in the mirror.

A devilish grin broke out on her face as she pulled out a small, slinky piece of black fabric and a pair of black pointy heels from her little bag of tricks.

"The perfect little black dress, of course," she replied, and I gawked at how short it was.

"What?" she questioned as I watched her pull out a pair of black leggings from the bag to wear with the dress. "You didn't think I was going to wear that thing without a pair of leggings underneath did you? My ass would hang out if we decided to dance tonight."

I laughed at her and asked, "You think I'm going to be dancing tonight?"

"Oh, there will be dancing, because we have some serious drinking to do. It's a girl's night out, Bella. We're gonna drink people under the table tonight."

I knew I wanted a couple of drinks, but I didn't want to wake up _dead_ tomorrow. I was going to have to keep an eye on my tiny friend tonight.

When Alice whipped out her phone and began typing on the keyboard I pouted. "Alice, I thought you said this was a girl's night out. You're not inviting Jasper, are you?"

"God no, Bella," she said while continuing to type out her message. "He's hanging out with Edward tonight." My heart stopped at the mention of his name. "I'm not that clingy. I've seen him everyday for the last month for cripes sake. I'm calling a cab. You know – no drinking and driving. Ring any bells, Bells?"

"Oh yeah," I said, slightly ashamed.

When we were dressed and ready, I stashed my dorm key, our IDs, and some cash into my jeans' pockets. After Alice shoved her lip gloss in my other pocket, we headed downstairs. I shivered in the cold December air and almost went back up to my room to grab a coat when the taxi arrived.

After the quick ride, we pulled up to Shenanigan's and I was glad to find that there wasn't a line – we would have frozen to death outside. As soon as we walked inside, Alice immediately pulled me over to the bar. It was busier than I had originally thought, so I just stood behind her and let her order for us.

She asked for a twenty, and after she paid for our drinks, she stuffed her license and the change into my jeans pocket before handing me a shot glass filled with a milky brown liquid. I turned and made my way to an empty table set up by the dance floor and sat down on a tall barstool. Alice sat across from me and knocked her shot glass into mine.

"What is this?" I asked, eyeing the contents of the shot.

She had an evil glint in her eye as she said, "Drink it. It's good."

I pursed my lips and asked again. "What is this, Alice?"

"It's a Buttery Nipple, you big baby. Bottoms up," she said, downing her shot.

I gave up and drank it, surprised to find that it was delicious. "Oh, that's good."

"Yes it is," she replied, licking her lips. "Now go get us another one."

I smirked at her and made my way back to the bar. This time I got two shots, a Red Bull and Grey Goose for Alice, and a Seagram's Seven and Seven for me. I didn't want to down the shots and have to turn right back around to come back to the bar. I paid, and tried to balance the four glasses in my hands while trying not to trip and fall on the way back to our table.

Alice clapped when I made it back in one piece. "I thought for sure you were going to spill that when I saw how many things you had in your hands," she said as she took her drink from me. "Oh, Red Bull and Grey Goose," she said with a smile.

"Who's the one with little faith now?" I asked, passing her shot glass to her. I raised my own and said, "To, umm, girl's night. Yeah – to girl's night."

We toasted once more and downed the shots. I smacked my lips together at the taste. They were good, but I had a feeling that there wasn't much alcohol in them. That was probably a good thing though, since I didn't tolerate alcohol so well and I had already had two shots.

As I sipped on my Seven and Seven, I scanned the bar for anyone I knew and was glad that I didn't recognize a single person. I wasn't really in the mood to chit-chat and pretend to catch up.

Alice and I listened to the music playing and sat in comfortable silence, people-watching and sipping on our drinks. After a few minutes, I was surprised to find my glass already empty, and when I glanced at Alice's, I was disappointed to find that she still had a ways to go on hers.

_I must be thirsty_, I thought as I stirred my straw around the bottom of my glass. I moved the ice around for a moment before I picked up a cube and popped it in my mouth.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Alice asked, furrowing her brow.

I bit my lip and said, "Oh. You know – work, finals… The usual, really." I was rambling, and figured Alice knew I was avoiding the real issue. As if on cue, she cocked her head to the left. I sighed, but I knew I couldn't talk to her about Edward. Then again, I never could hide anything from her.

She looked at me for a moment, but broke the silence by asking, "Do you want another drink?"

I looked at her glass again, but she had not taken a sip since I'd last checked. I nodded at her before I asked, "Are you sure? You've still got some left."

Alice hopped down off of her barstool and came to stand by me. "Yeah, but I want to have one ready. I'm telling you Bella, I'm drinking tonight."

I handed her some cash and watched as she walked up to the bar. She hopped up on the metal footrest and leaned over, whistling to get the bartender's attention. Alice may be small, but she's feisty.

When she made her way back over to the table a few minutes later, a fresh round in hand, I brought the straw to my lips and drank as though I were dying from thirst. She laughed, and I looked up at her. "What?

"Nothing," she answered. "No toast this time, then?"

I felt the heat rise up to my cheeks and smiled at my half-empty glass. When I looked back up at her, she was smacking her lips and her first drink was gone. I quirked my eyebrow as she picked up her full glass and placed the straw to her lips. Within seconds, her drink was at the same level as mine.

I smiled at her as I picked up my glass, and we looked into each other's eyes. She was definitely challenging me, and I was up for it. We downed them quickly, and as soon as we set our empty glasses on the table, Madonna's voice came over the speakers.

"_What are you looking at_?"

Alice and I looked at each other, and a sly grin broke out on both of our faces. She snapped her fingers in time with the steady beat, and when the bass kicked in we both jumped off of our barstools.

By the time Madonna said, "_Strike a pose_," we were already on the dance floor, along with almost every other girl in the bar.

Alice and I belted out the lyrics as everyone on the dance floor seemed to be getting into the song. During the chorus, I watched in awe as Alice extended her arms in front of her, crossed them over her chest, and brought them behind her head, perfectly emulating the music video. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. We'd taped and studied that video a million times in fourth grade for the talent show we were both too chicken to actually enter.

I began dancing with her, and soon the whole dance floor was a sea of bending arms. The DJ must have been getting a kick out of watching all the women in the club ham it up because he played another fun pop song. It seemed like all of the girls stayed on the dance floor, and I noticed a few guys being dragged out on to dance by their girlfriends.

Alice and I were laughing and singing along with the music when Jasper slid up behind her. Her eyes widened in shock, and she squealed with delight before kissing him hard on the mouth. He laughed and started dancing behind her, swaying with her to the beat.

I realized I'd stopped dancing to watch them when I felt someone right behind me. I slowly turned around and found a guy smiling down at me. It was not who I thought it would be, though. I didn't even know this guy. I scrunched up my nose and eyes in disgust. _Who did this guy think he was?_

Of course, he took my look as more of a questioning one than one of loathing. "Hey gorgeous," he began, pulling me by my hips toward him. "I'm Mike Newton. You may have heard of me," he said as he started grinding his legs against me.

I _had_ heard his name somewhere before, so I wracked my brain, searching for exactly how I knew of him. Then it hit me. Angela said this guy had bragged to the entire baseball team – hell – she said he'd bragged to the entire _school_ about sleeping with her roommate Lauren.

I bit my lip and looked back toward Alice and Jasper, hoping they would save me. Of course, Mike took that moment as his chance to grind up on my ass. I really hated it when guys did that – especially dickheads like Mike.

I looked toward Alice and Jasper once again for help, but they seemed a bit preoccupied with sucking each other's faces off to notice me. When Mike continued to bump into me from behind and snaked his arm around my waist, I cringed.

Thankfully, the song ended and a low bass beat that I instantly recognized came on. I loved this song and wanted to dance to it.

Really dance.

By myself.

As if he read my mind, Mike backed off. I closed my eyes, but I realized that the moment the lyrics began that he would surely grab my ass again. I turned around to tell him to go away, but instead of finding Mike, I came face to face with Edward. I sucked in a deep breath as he smiled at me.

Trent Reznor sang out, "_You let me violate you_," and I bit my lip and looked down, suddenly embarrassed.

Edward reached out for my hips and started swaying from side to side, moving me in time with him. I looked up into his eyes and couldn't decipher what flashed just behind them, but it didn't matter. Everything around us disappeared, and I felt as though we were the only two people out on the floor.

I was suddenly glad that Alice had picked out a tank top for me to wear in December, because I was flushed with heat from the close proximity of our bodies, and from the intensity of his gaze. He stepped closer to me, still moving in time with the heavy beat of the song.

My lips parted as he moved toward me. _His face is so close to mine_, I thought.

Edward spun me around and returned his hands to my hips. As he pressed his body even closer to my own, adrenaline coursed through my veins and the alcohol was certainly catching up to me.

I began swaying my hips again under his touch as the lyrics changed. "_Help me become somebody else_." No truer words had ever been spoken. I closed my eyes as I leaned forward. His hands felt hot upon my hips, and I could feel the heat radiating from his body behind me.

As we swayed from side to side and the provocative lyrics blared around us, it felt as though I was dreaming. Our movements were slow and intentional, and even though I'd never been that sexual a person, I certainly felt like one at the moment. Edward's right hand left my hip and trailed up my back toward my shoulder. As he pushed my upper body forward, his lower body made contact with my own and a shiver ran down the length of my spine.

I moved my hips with his as the lyrics died away and the steady beat played on. I knew the song was coming to an end, and I didn't know what I was going to say or do once it was over.

Suddenly, the moment was upon us. I turned around just as the song morphed into a slower one. I looked up into his eyes, but still couldn't read what was happening just behind the surface. Edward placed his hands on mine and brought them up around his neck and then settled his on my hips once again. As he began to dance with me, I turned my head away from his and closed my eyes.

I could feel the hot air from his breath upon my neck and I bit my lip when I thought he whispered my name. I pulled back, intent on looking up into his eyes, but couldn't bring myself to look at his perfect face. His body was so close to my own, but I knew that the bubble I was wrapped up in was too good to be true. It had to burst sooner or later. I choked back a sob, knowing that Edward could never feel the same way for me that I felt for him. I suddenly felt dizzy, so I turned, walked off of the dance floor, and hastily ran for the bathroom.

It felt as though I was back at Buccee's. Only somehow, this was worse. _What was happening to me? _

Just like last time, I stared at myself in the mirror but I couldn't stand the image being reflected back toward me. I brought my hands up to cover my face when Alice burst through the door.

When I caught sight of the worry on her angelic face, my emotions bubbled to the surface and the alcohol buzzed around my head. No longer able to contain them, my tears slid down my cheeks. I was so confused. I couldn't focus on anything Alice was saying to me. She patted my back in a soothing manner and the jumble of thoughts bouncing around in my head began to settle.

Alice continued to soothe me for a moment before she pulled back and nodded at me. Her unspoken reassurance that she was there for me did wonders, and when she turned on the water from the sink in front of us, I quickly splashed my face. The cool water felt good against my over-heated skin, and when I stood, Alice handed me a paper towel. I scrubbed the last remnants of mascara away from under my eyes, and was thankful that it was darker out in the bar than it was underneath the harsh fluorescent bathroom lights.

"Are you ready to go back out there Bella?" Alice asked, handing me another paper towel. I blew my nose and nodded, telling her that I was alright.

When we walked through the doors, the fast beats of a popular song resonated throughout the bar and pounded in my ears. I winced at the volume, and Alice took hold of my wrist to lead me back to our table. When we sat down, I scanned the bar for Jasper and Edward. Jasper spotted us from the bar and nodded, but Edward wasn't with him.

I looked at Alice, hoping that maybe she had spotted him, and found a panicked look upon her face. Her mouth opened to say something, but no sound came out. I followed her gaze out onto the dance floor where I immediately spotted his tall frame toward the back of the crowd. I could only see the back of his head, but I knew without a doubt that it was Edward. He was dancing. And he wasn't alone.

Angela was dancing with him, and her hand was thrown across his chest as she laughed. She looked so happy…

I thought back to our conversation from a few months ago. "_I totally have a crush on this upper classman that lives here in the dorm_," she'd told me. I brought my hand up to cover my gaping mouth. I felt myself starting to hyperventilate when I remembered that she'd even mentioned that she thought her crush was a baseball player.

I closed my eyes only to see the words from her note on my door written across my memory. She'd sounded so determined, as though she was going to ensure an opportunity to be with her mystery man would happen. At the time, I was happy that she was going for it. Now, I wished more than anything that she'd never confided in me.

I thought about the fact that I hadn't seen Edward in three weeks. For all I knew, he and Angela were dating. _But why had he danced with me?_ I asked myself. _Why had he held me so close? Why had he looked at me that way? _

_And why had he whispered my name?_ For I knew he had. I could feel it in my bones that he'd whispered my name along my neck. I could still feel his hot breath there.

My eyes flew open and my gaze landed on Alice. I didn't say anything, but I didn't have to. As I rose from my barstool and headed for the exit, I knew that she'd be right behind me.

Several cabs were parked along the curb at the entrance of Shenanigan's, so I hopped into the first available one. When Alice slid in beside me, she gave the driver the address of my dorm. Neither one of us spoke on the way back to Weston. When we pulled up a few minutes later, I handed the cab driver a twenty dollar bill before numbly walking through the double doors. I didn't dare look toward the benches that sat just outside the entrance.

Alice hit the button to my floor as we stepped into the elevator, and I kept my eyes down. I didn't want to see his door staring me in the face as I stepped off.

Once I unlocked my door at the end of the hall, I curled up into a ball on top of my bed. Alice pulled a blanket up over my legs, and I felt her sit down next to me. She ran her fingers lightly through my hair with her right hand and handed me a tissue with the other. I took the Kleenex from her and balled it up in my fist, but I couldn't help but relax under her touch.

We sat there for several quiet minutes, and I didn't bother to wipe away the steady stream of tears that were falling from my eyes to my bedspread. I focused on the sound of Alice's steady breathing, but it was interrupted by a light knock on my door.

For the first time since lying down, I looked up at Alice. I silently willed her to make whoever was standing outside my door to go away. She must have understood my plea, because she rose from my bed without question and walked over to the door. I buried my face in my pillow and turned my back towards the door, not wanting to face anyone.

"Hey Alice, is Bella here?" My head spun toward the door at the sound of his timid voice.

Several emotions passed through me in a matter of mere seconds.

I was shocked. Edward was here, at my door, and not with Angela.

I was pissed. _Why was he playing games with me? Why had I not seen him since we rode home together?_

I was confused. _Why was he doing this? Why was he here?_

The simple fact that he _was_ here made me happy, and it was the most confusing thing of all.

Alice looked back at me as I sat up, dabbing at my eyes with the Kleenex that had been balled up in my fist. She walked over and said, "I'm going to go if that's alright. Edward said that Jasper was waiting for me in a cab downstairs, but I won't go if you don't want me to. I'll stay if you need me, Bella." I shook my head. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? And Alice," I said as she rose from the bed. "Thanks for everything."

She smiled down at me and said, "Alright, Bells. I'll call you tomorrow."

I nodded and gave her a weak smile. As she gathered the bags she'd brought to my room earlier this evening, I thought about how thankful I was to have a friend as good as Alice in my life. She was staying in Seattle through the holiday, and I had the feeling I was going to need her over the next couple of days. Especially after what I was about to do.

Alice turned to give me one more questioning look, and I answered it with a slight nod that said I would indeed be okay. She nodded as well and spoke quietly to Edward before she stepped behind him to leave.

Edward stood awkwardly in my doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot as I tried desperately to gather my courage to face him. I finally stood and walked over to him. I didn't want to talk about any of the things that had happened between us tonight, but I had to say something. This was going to be the last time I spoke to him before our Christmas break officially began. I knew the dorms would be mostly empty over the holiday, and he'd mentioned going home for Christmas during our ride back to Seattle after Thanksgiving last month.

I looked up into his eyes and found him staring directly into mine. "Bella…" he began, but I cut him off.

I simply couldn't let him speak.

"So have a Merry Christmas, Edward. I guess I'll see you after the break," I said with as much determination behind my wavering voice as I could muster.

I brought my hand up to rest on my doorframe, indicating that he should go. I didn't mean to be so rude, but I knew I'd break down and say something I'd regret if he stayed any longer – especially if I had to look at the pained expression on his face for one more second.

Once again, he was standing so close to me that I had to close my eyes to regain my senses. I bit my tongue as I looked back up. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to ask him what was going on in that head of his. I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him. But most of all, I wanted to tell him that he was breaking my heart.

He looked down, finally breaking our eye contact. The silence hung heavy between us, and I realized I'd been holding my breath.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he said quietly without looking back up at me, and then he turned and left.

I stood there for a moment before I could feel my limbs again. I managed to close my door and turn off my lights, and stumbled blindly toward my bed.

Once I reached it, I curled up into a ball to die.

**A/N's: *peeks around corner* Hello! Umm, I know it took a little while to get this chapter to you, but it didn't sound right until recently. I hope you don't mind (too much)… **

**So, what did you think?**


	12. Ch 12: All I Want Is You

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**Twilight**_**. Or Edward – Or Robert – Damn it.**

**All I Want Is You**

**EPOV**

I sat perched on the edge of my bed, tossing my car keys back and forth between my hands. I was supposed to have gone home four days ago, but just couldn't bring myself to go. I couldn't bear the thought of taking the long lonely trip and passing the cutoff to Forks because I knew it would only dredge up the memories of the last time I'd driven along that stretch of road with Bella seated by my side.

It stung as her name crossed my thoughts, but the pain intensified when I thought about how I'd spent four days – _four fucking days_ – in hell as I sat around my desolate dorm room knowing she wasn't here, knowing she'd driven to Forks to spend Christmas with her father.

Four days ago, I'd been so close to getting everything I'd ever wanted. Four days ago, she'd closed her door in my face, and on my heart. And for four days, every time I'd closed my eyes, I saw the agonized look upon her face as I stood there looking down at her, tongue-tied, unable to vocalize just how sorry I was for hurting her. For I knew that I had, and knowing that I'd been the one to screw it up – that it was _my_ fault that things had gone horribly wrong – was the worst part of all.

~x~x~x~

I'd been replaying every detail from that night over and over again, torturing myself with the memories. As soon the cramped taxi pulled up in front of Shenanigan's some sixty-odd hours ago, I'd hopped out and made a beeline for the knotted wooden door with Jasper hot on my trail. "We're here to pick up _my_ girlfriend, and you look like you're in line to meet Mickey Mouse or some shit," he'd said as we walked into the bar.

I'd expected the teasing from him, but I couldn't find it in myself to give a shit, or to come up with any sort of a come-back, because I spotted her immediately. I was hesitant to find out what Bella's reaction to seeing me after all this time would be. Surprisingly, Jasper let my lack of response to his jab slide, but I realized it was only because he'd followed my line of sight and found Alice. He immediately set off, making his way toward her, leaving me standing rooted to the floor as I watched him approach.

Alice's whole face lit up as she turned in his arms and leaned up to kiss him. Bella smiled before taking a glance at her surroundings, as though she expected someone. Before I could get my hopes up that she could possibly be looking for me, I spotted Mike Newton maneuvering his way toward her from the corner of my eye. My jaw tightened and my fists clenched at my side when he stood directly behind her and leaned down to speak into her ear.

The strangest expression flitted across her face before she turned to face him. Mike put on his best come-hither smile as I watched Bella's head tilt up, and I gnashed my teeth together when he coaxed her to dance by pulling her toward him from her hips. When Bella was forcefully spun around a moment later and I saw that she was biting her lower lip nervously, I felt bad for Mike; as it turned out, he wouldn't be dancing with her for long.

I was already making my way toward her, snaking in between groups of giggling girls and couples grinding in to each other, when I saw that weasel slide his arm around _my_ girl, and watched as she cringed and bit into her lip again. When I reached them, Bella had her eyes closed and a look of disgust was clearly etched upon her face.

Mike hadn't noticed me approach him, so when I not so subtly shoved his shoulder, I caught him off-guard. He instantly spun to face me, and the look upon his face clearly said, _What the fuck?_ When he saw the scowl upon my face however, he thought better of saying whatever insult was on the tip of his tongue, put his palms up in defeat, and walked off.

As I stood looking down at Bella, it was if she could sense when Mike's presence left her because her whole frame relaxed as a new song began. I recognized the slow, heavy beat of the music as she turned around to face me. A look of wonder briefly crossed her eyes before she bit her lower lip and looked down shyly.

I reached out to her and slipped my hand around her waist to gently ease her body toward mine, and everything around us melted away as we began to move together. I could feel the heat from her body, see the sweat begin to trickle down the nape of her neck, and watched the rise and fall of her chest as she took each labored breath.

The heavy beat began to soften, and as the song morphed into a much slower one, Bella looked up into my eyes. At that moment, all I wanted to do was take her face between my hands and kiss her with everything I had. I wanted to show her – tell her – with that one kiss all that I was, and all that she made me.

"Bella," I whispered into the soft skin of her neck, leaving gooseflesh in the wake of my warm breath. She pulled back to face me, and I watched as her lips parted and her eyes slid closed. I was in heaven holding her there in my arms, enclosed in my own private bubble: smelling her skin, touching her body, and reveling in all that simply being near her entailed.

Her eyes remained closed, and as my lips parted to finally tell her all that she meant to me, she swayed on the spot before my arm – still wrapped around her waist – steadied her. After she'd seemed to regain her footing, I leaned back down, my mouth hovering next to her delicate ear. She abruptly pulled away from me, turned, and ran toward the back of the bar, leaving me standing there staring after her.

Jasper, who had watched the whole scene unfold, gave me a curious look. Alice turned to see why Jasper stopped dancing, and saw that Bella was making her way toward the back of the bar in a hurry. She gave Jasper a quick, apologetic look before following Bella off of the dance floor to check on her.

"Well, that was… interesting. I'm gonna go get a beer. Want one?" Jasper asked as he walked over to me. I nodded, not bothering to try and form any semblance of an answer, and followed numbly behind him.

"What do you want?" he asked as we approached the crowded bar. People tried to push their way past me, and I had to cover my right ear with my hand as a kid that didn't' look old enough to buy cigarettes legally, let alone alcohol, whistled to get the busy bartender's attention.

I shook my head after glaring at the young kid to indicate that I wasn't ready to drown out my emotions with alcohol. Though I knew we'd only been standing at the bar for a few moments, in my mind, the bartender was taking way too long. I turned to Jasper and said, "Hey, I'm gonna go back to where we were in case the girls can't find us."

I was worried that Bella would return to where we'd been standing only to find me gone. I knew that I'd look ridiculous standing all alone in the middle of the crowded dance floor, but Jasper would eventually make his way back, and when – no _if_, I mentally corrected myself – Bella came back, I wanted her to be able to find me. So I walked back to were I was and stood there, looking like a complete idiot.

I brought both of my hands up to rub my face and my eyes, trying to clear my head. When I lowered them I was surprised, to say the least, to find Angela standing there looking up at my face with a small smile.

"Oh," I said, somewhat startled, "Hey there." I peered over her head, scanning the bar to see if Jasper was on his way to come rescue me, or if by some miracle, Alice was returning with Bella in tow. _Damn it_, I thought to myself when there was no sign of either.

I looked back down at Angela's face to find her smile had widened into a vivid ear-to-ear grin. "How are you, Edward?" she asked with a bit too much enthusiasm.

_This girl is hammered_, I thought. She'd started swaying to the music, and though we were technically out on the dance floor, her provocative movement coupled with the way she was biting her lip and looking up at me didn't strike me as something the Angela I knew would do if she was sober.

"I'm good, I suppose," I answered.

"Oh, I know you're good," she said, slapping my chest. I smirked at her playfulness, and she laughed.

"So, are you having a good time?" I asked, once again peering over her head for any sign of Bella.

_Where is she?_ I asked myself as Angela started bobbing her head, even though the song that was playing was too slow for such enthusiastic dancing. "I love tequila, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," I mumbled, not looking down at her as I answered. I'd stopped moving and craned my neck toward the door, because I thought I'd seen Alice for a second.

"Don't you, Edward?" Angela asked again. When I looked down at her, I knew that I'd missed something in the last few minutes; she was no longer talking about tequila.

Gnawing at the inside of my cheek, I looked down again at her and said, "I'm sorry, I missed that last bit. What?"

She took a step toward me, leaned up on her tiptoes, and placed both of hands on my shoulders. "I really like this song, don't you?" she asked, whispering into my left ear. Her implications were as clear as her words.

For some reason, I thought of the last time I'd seen Angela. She'd seemed to appear out of thin air just as she had tonight, and I couldn't help but compare her smile tonight from the one that had graced her face as I'd said, _"Maybe some other time?"_ when I couldn't accept her invitation to dinner that night.

_Ah shit,_ I thought to myself. Was I unintentionally leading this girl on? She was obviously flirting with me, and as I gnawed on my cheek, I realized that she'd probably been flirting the night she'd asked me out, too. I took a deep breath and looked down at her. She smiled sweetly up at me.

"Look," I began. I was really uncomfortable with confrontations, and if it turned out that my gut instinct was wrong on this matter, I didn't know what I was going to do. "Angela, I'm sort of…"

Jasper interrupted me by tapping my left shoulder, and I'd never been so happy to see him. "Hey man, did they come back out here?" he asked, looking down at Angela. He gave her a stiff smile before turning back to me for my answer.

"No, I uh…" I trailed off and motioned toward Angela with a slight nod of my head. I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't know how to get rid of her without sounding like an absolute dick. "Did you see them?" I asked, motioning to Angela again, hoping that he'd think of something to say to make her leave.

"I spotted Alice while I was waiting for my beer," he said, putting emphasis on Alice's name.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Angela fidgeting with her hands, obviously uncomfortable with the mention of another girl's name. "Edward," she said meekly during the pause in conversation, and I looked down at her. "I'm gonna go over there with my friends," she said, nodding toward the tables on our left. "I'll see you later?" she asked optimistically.

"Uh, I guess?" She walked away after a quick nod, and I noticed Jasper's quirked brow. The look on my face wiped it right off, and I steered him back to the more important question at hand. "Did you see Bella with her?"

"Yeah, I saw them come out of the bathroom and head over to an empty table. Bella saw me first then looked around for you. Alice looked over at me, and had just nodded in your direction when the bartender gave me my beer. After I settled my tab and looked back up, they were gone."

I took a moment to process his words as he fished his cell phone out of his pocket and read a text. _Was she sick? Was that why she left?_ I asked myself, but it didn't make sense that they'd sat down after she came back from the restroom.

_So she wasn't sick. Maybe she just needed a second…_

_To do what, though? _

I pushed aside the memory of when _I'd_ escaped into a restroom to gather my thoughts and focused. Jasper said he'd nodded in my direction, and then they'd left. _So she saw me and then what?_ I asked myself.

Then it hit me… Bella had seen me alright. She'd seen me _with_ Angela.

_Shit. _

"Alice just texted and said that Bella wasn't feeling very well. They grabbed a cab," Jasper said, and I was already moving toward the exit.

I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. She's seen me with Angela; talking to _her_… making _her_ laugh… dancing with _her._

When I found myself face to face with Alice a few minutes later at Bella's door, I tried to speak, but couldn't find my words. When I heard Bella's quiet sniffle from somewhere past Alice, I knew that she'd been crying.

I shuffled my feet then said, "Jasper came with me. He's downstairs in a cab, or at least he was..."

Alice stood there quietly looking up at me for a few seconds and I started to feel uncomfortable under her steady gaze; I'd never spoken to her before, and this was an unusual first meeting of sorts. Her expression was surprisingly gentle and understanding; it was much better than what I deserved from Bella's best friend.

"Is she… Can I…" I said, searching for the right question to ask.

"Give me one second," she said quietly, closing the door so that it was only cracked open and inch or two.

The sound of light footsteps filled the narrow hallway, and I turned to find Jasper walking toward me. "I told Alice you were here," I began. "She's talking to her for me."

He nodded and leaned up against the wall across the hall from Bella's door. I stepped aside when Alice reappeared, and after she walked out into the hall, she turned toward me. "She's…" Alice began, pausing and wringing her hands together. She sighed and looked me square in the eye. "She's hurting Edward. Just don't…" she said trailing off again, and Jasper took her hand.

My eyes dropped down to the floor and I gave a slow nod, understanding where she was headed with her last statement. After they left, I turned toward Bella's room, and watched her stand up from where she'd been sitting on her bed and walk toward me. Bella looked up into my eyes once she reached where I stood awkwardly in her doorway, and I couldn't help but notice that hers were puffy and red.

I'd held her in my arms that night, but I hadn't been able to keep her there. I'd had all of the right words to say, but I just hadn't been able to say them. She'd had every right to slam the door in my face.

~x~x~x~

When the tip of one of the three keys hanging off of my Boba Fett keychain dug sharply into my palm, I winced and swore under my breath, shaking my wrist as though it could somehow dull my senses. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Instead, it flipped a switch in my mind, setting a plan into motion. Although I wasn't keen on the idea of driving anywhere at the moment, especially along the lush tree-lined highways that led out of the city in every direction, I had to get out of my room, out of this building, out of this city.

I stood in the space of my open driver's side door in the cold, near-empty parking lot across the street from Weston Hall and looked across the hood of my car. I'd parked next to the old, beat-up red Chevy all semester, not only because the space next to it seemed to be permanently vacant, but because the small, luminous crystal hanging from the rearview mirror intrigued me. It was beautiful when it caught the light, and reflected off of every shiny surface offered around the parking lot.

The crystal was unable to catch a single ray of light from the dismal gray Washington sky; the only thing it seemed able to reflect today was my loneliness. I tore my eyes away from her truck, not letting the fact that it was parked here lull me into a false sense of hope. She'd told me once that its engine was more than likely on its last legs and that she tried not to drive it long distances if she was able to. More than likely, she'd ridden home to Forks with Alice.

I slid into the leather seat of my Volvo, not finding the usual comfort I usually did as I turned over the ignition and listened to the soft hum of the engine. Though I loved to drive, I felt no excitement of the prospect of doing so today. But I needed to get out of here. Everything around me conjured up memories and images of Bella. Even the empty seat to my right seemed to mock me, but I had to get as far away as possible from Seattle to clear my head, if only for a moment.

As I left the west side of campus, I followed the smaller rural roads that led me out of the city, but was soon frustrated with the fifty-five mile per hour speed limit that I knew was being enforced by the extra state patrol out en force for the holiday travelers. Driving up the entrance ramp of the first highway I encountered, I soon found myself speeding along and watching the blur of the ever present greenery fly past me, until I noticed that I had somehow ended up on the one-oh-one north, only forty short miles away from the small town of Forks – from her.

The next exit quickly became _my_ exit, and as I turned around under the freeway underpass, I came face to face with Buccee's. As if on cue, the small yellow light indicating that I was running low on fuel suddenly illuminated the dark shadow of my dashboard. With a resigned sigh, I pulled into the station, got out, swiped my credit card, and unscrewed the cap to my gas tank.

I kept my eyes away from the main building, choosing to focus on the loud rumble an eighteen-wheeler made on its way toward the freeway entrance as I pumped the fuel. When I'd finished, I turned back toward the machine in search of my credit card receipt, only to find a message informing me that if I wanted the tiny scrap of paper, I'd have to go inside and have a cashier print one off.

I screwed the gas cap back on, sealing off my tank, and then slid back into my seat. I allowed myself to look up at the building that lay in front of me before I closed my eyes and rested my head upon the steering wheel for a moment, relishing the cool feel of the leather on my skin. _I don't need the receipt_, I told myself. _I don't need to go in there, and I certainly don't need a Dr. Pepper with ice to quench my sudden thirst. _

With my eyes still closed and my forehead still resting upon my steering wheel, I turned over the ignition and put the car in drive. Still leaning forward, I opened my eyes and glanced to make sure that my path was clear before pulling forward and parking in front of the one place that was more significant than even Weston Hall when it came to Bella. After all, this was where I'd finally admitted to myself that I was in love with her…

As I turned off my car yet again and stepped out into the cold, moist December air, I realized that I'd parked in this very spot the last time I'd been here. My phone vibrated from my front pocket as I shook my head and walked through the automatic doors. When I'd made my way over to the soda fountain lining the back wall, I took it out and read the message displayed on my screen:

_Edward, is my gay in your closet? If it is, can you bring it over later? I can't find it anywhere. Em_

I read the message through once more to make sure I'd read it correctly before I replied:

_Em, your gay is probably in your closet. Just come out already ~ E_

I filled a large Styrofoam cup with ice, and as I positioned it underneath the Dr. Pepper nozzle, my phone vibrated in my left hand. After I secured the lid to my drink, I read the message displayed on the screen:

_What the hell are you talking about? Em_

I really wasn't in the mood for his bullshit so I forwarded his original message back to him, hoping that he'd get the hint and stop fucking around with me. I couldn't be bothered by his antics, especially when I was here. Everything about the small store reminded me of Bella, and when I saw the small table to my left from the corner of my eye, I couldn't stop myself from moving toward it.

Buccee's cute little beaver face stared up at me from the display of t-shirts in the center of the unusually empty store; it was strange that not many people were here, what with it being so close to the holiday, a busy time for travel. When I glanced down at the array of various Buccee slogans printed on black and white t-shirts, I spotted the same one I'd held up to Bella a month ago.

Her big, bright smile flashed behind my eyes as I picked up the shirt, but instead of shying away from the memory, I basked in it, allowing the image of her to become engrained in my mind. As I made my way to pay for my Dr. Pepper and the size small t-shirt folded under my arm, my phone buzzed yet again. I set my items down in front of the smiling cashier, asked her for the receipt for the gas I'd pumped, and looked down at my phone as she busied herself ringing up my items.

Emmett had apparently not gotten the hint, but I have to say, I was amused with his message:

_God damn auto text. I mean__t gay, not gay. _

Before I had a chance to hit reply and try to formulate a response, my screen lit up and my phone buzzed again with a new message from him:

_Son of a bitch. HAT__, damn it. Do you have my gay?_

I couldn't stop the chuckle that formed in my throat as I realized what he'd been trying to say this entire time. I sent off my reply within seconds:

_It only took you 4 texts to get your point across. I'm so proud. No__pe, haven't seen your hat or your gay & definitely don't have either. Try Jasper's closet ~ E_

I pocketed my phone as I waited for the cashier to ring up my drink and Bella's shirt, and returned her welcoming smile. After I made sure I'd gotten the receipt for my fuel – the reason I'd come in here in the first place – I strode out to my car and tossed the small bag containing the t-shirt in the direction of the passenger seat. I shifted into reverse and backed out of the spot, and the plastic bag slid along the leather seat, landing with a small plop on the floorboard.

I shifted into drive and made sure that I wasn't blocking anyone before leaning down to retrieve her shirt then placed it back on the seat. As I pulled out of Buccee's parking lot, I thought about what was inside of that little bag to my right. I knew it meant more to me than it could ever possibly mean to her, but when I'd seen it, I'd simply had to buy it for her. The first time she'd seen it, she'd shown me her breathtaking smile, and I had to see that smile again.

Along with the small impromptu gift, I wanted to give Bella something that would make her know what I was feeling – what I'd been going through without her – and I wasn't going to chicken out this time. I penned a letter in my mind, letting my words flow uninterrupted by any noise, and repeated them to myself over and over again as I drove toward Seattle. I knew that she wasn't there, but something inside of me told me that Weston Hall was where _I_ needed to be.

I found myself parking next to her truck in what seemed like moments later, and hurried across the street and up to the fifth floor. After retrieving a black notebook and pen from my room, I shut my door behind me and walked down to room 575. Slumping down along the wall just across from her door, I looked up to where her dry erase board hung and a piece of purple construction paper read, "Bella Swan, Resident Advisor." I studied her name for a moment then looked down at the empty sheet of paper on my lap and began scrawling the message that had been playing on a continuous loop in my mind for the last hour or so.

After I'd finished and done a quick read through of what I'd written, I pushed up off of the floor and set off toward my room. I placed the shirt and the words that would always belong to her into a small box, and tucked the small gift into my closet. The dorm was quiet that night, and I slept better than I had in days – four days to be exact.

~x~x~x~

I woke up late the next afternoon, feeling rested and relaxed. Knowing that I would be giving Bella my letter in a few days seemed to lift my spirits and the weight that had settled upon my chest for the last two months. I spent the day lounging around my room – cleaning of all things – something that I was rarely afforded the time to do.

There was a Christmas party being held downstairs for employees and friends, and since neither Jasper nor I had ventured home for the holiday, he'd convinced me to tag along with him and Alice. I assumed she'd driven down just to be with him on Christmas Eve.

The party was supposed to start around 10:30, so I ventured downstairs at around 10:15, waiting for Jasper to show up. Mrs. Banner spotted me immediately as I exited the elevator, and I couldn't hold back my smile as she bustled over to me. Her cardigan was a bright shade of lime green, and several little wreaths and snowmen that looked like they'd literally been pasted on just before the party were scattered along the lapel.

"Edward," she exclaimed as she made her way to where I was standing. "It's been much too long. How are you?"

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Banner," I said, suppressing a short laugh as I noticed that her vibrant pink lipstick was smeared across her teeth. "I'm good. Are you and Mr. Banner ready for the holiday? Are Robert and Vickie coming over with their families tomorrow?" I asked, and her face lit up when I mentioned her two grown children's names.

"Yes, and we're so excited to have them," she said, and her smile revealed the deep pink hue of her teeth again. "And call me Shirley, Edward. I'm not going to tell you again. I'll just have Ted get after you instead."

"Surely you jest," I said, and I knew that she'd love the reference to her first name. As if on cue, she blushed and looked down as though she were a schoolgirl talking to her first crush.

Taking my chance to be covert, I snuck a glance down at my watch, and was surprised to find that it was already 10:35 and still hadn't heard from Jasper. In fact, I hadn't spoken to him since earlier in the afternoon, when he told me that he'd text when he was on his way over to Weston.

My phone vibrated against my leg just as Shirley had composed herself enough to look back up at me, and after I retrieved it from my pocket, I politely motioned that it was a message that I needed to take. She smiled and dismissed me, and after I promised that I'd find her again later on in the evening, I strode over toward the elevator where it was a bit brighter, due to the lights illuminating the fake Christmas tree perched there.

I looked down at the small screen of my phone and smirked as I read Jasper's message:

_E ~ Not gonna be there for __ least an hour. Took Alice to a stuffy restaurant downtown & the host was an asshole. Hold down the fort & save the good stuff for me ~ J_

As I typed in my response, telling him that it was no big deal, I noticed the time displayed in the corner of the screen, and deleted my original message. Instead, I told him that I was going call it a night. It had been a long couple of days, and if Jasper was going to be spending the holiday with Alice tomorrow, then I figured that I'd might as well make the trip home to spend the day with my parents.

After the slow elevator trek up to the fifth floor, I walked directly across the hall to my room. I left the lights off, choosing to turn on the lamp next to my bed instead. Stretching out along my mattress, I leaned back and put my hands under my head. I wasn't ready to go to sleep, but I knew that if I stayed up much longer, I was going to drive myself crazy thinking about her.

My mind had already conjured up images of her tear-stained face, and I could hear her voice as she said, _"Have a Merry Christmas, Edward."_

I closed my eyes and tried to pick another memory of her – any other memory – when my phone vibrated in my pocket. Reluctantly, I took it out and glanced down at the screen to read the message displayed there:

_E ~ Forgot to tell you: Bella and Alice didn't go to Forks. Alice just got__ a txt from Bella & she's the party. Go talk to her, man ~ J_

Without a moment's hesitation, I stood up. Within seconds, I was out the door, pressing the button to summon the elevator.

**A/N's: I know I've been gone for a ****while and I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness. I only ask that you tell me what you thought of my triumphant-return of a chapter…**


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